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A comment on Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012). Parent comment

Re:Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012) by matz1 on Wednesday February 21, 2018 @10:04AM (#16429906)
Only if you already have especially likable personality, otherwise you do have to be proactive. For me, if I waiting for people to invite me first I end up with 0 friend. It does seem rude and desperate in the beginning but I have to learn to not think it that way.
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Re:Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012) by mmierz on Wednesday February 21, 2018 @10:17AM (#16430017)
I agree. I started developing adult friendships when I decided not to worry about this and start dropping “strong hints” that I was interested in social events that I overheard people discussing.

I tend to appear standoffish and several friends have told me that they initially believed that I disliked them. I have to tell people explicitly that I am interested in spending time with them to overcome this.

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Re:Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012) by heedlessly2 on Wednesday February 21, 2018 @10:53AM (#16430310)
>if I waiting for people to invite me first I end up with 0 friend

but then those other people are begrudgingly inviting you out of politeness since you asked, rather than being a genuine invite

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Re:Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012) by watwut on Thursday February 22, 2018 @02:05AM (#16435782)
It might just be that they don't even think about you as someone who is interesting in interacting. That they basically dont register that you exists. It is not necessary that they hate you.
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Re:Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012) by macintux on Wednesday February 21, 2018 @11:29AM (#16430623)
It at least gives you an opportunity to get your foot in the door so next time it's a genuine invitation.
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Re:Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012) by heedlessly2 on Wednesday February 21, 2018 @11:44AM (#16430756)
if you joined their whatsapp group out of self-invite and they begrudgingly obliged, then you will see all their invites and still be self-inviting yourself to their other events unless they personally asked you
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Re:Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012) by macintux on Wednesday February 21, 2018 @01:04PM (#16431477)
Gotcha, I'm completely oblivious to Whatsapp.
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