> you're ignoring that, many times, management just doesn't listen

And ignoring that, almost all of the time, the programmer has very little power in these sorts of transactions.

Everybody is an idiot about most things. As an expert in a domain, your job is to help non-experts be less of an idiot when making decisions that depend on things you know better than them. You won’t get very far with a stonewalling attitude of “well, the manager was an idiot.” You need to establish trust and a working relationship where you both listen to each other.

Making my boss less of an idiot is something outside of my control. I can tell them "don't do this" over and over again. If they do it anyway, how is that my fault?

In an ideal world, sure. But I live in the real world, where there are lots of managers that are just plain shitty, and no amount of explanation will change their mind. It just does not work at all. Blaming the developer is not a reasonable thing to do in that situation.