I haven't traveled that extensively, but every time I've entered a Schengen country with nothing to declare, I've been able to walk right in after getting my passport stamped.

Every time I've returned to the US, however, I've had to go through an exhaustive baggage screening and pat-down before I could even board the plane, and then stand in line for half an hour in Immigration once I got back, filling out an entire form to declare that I have nothing to declare, and answering random identity-verifying questions from an immigration officer. I feel tired and uncomfortable just thinking about it.

I'm one of those lucky people that is apparently innocent-looking enough that I never get messed with by customs. And I've been through lots of weird customs checkpoints.

Returning to the US you have to fill out that annoying form on the plane but other than that it's just a rubber stamp

China is similar. I had to act like I was entering the country and leaving right after just for a transfer flight/layover. They're the only place that detected the belt buckle and cared about shaving razors.

i haven't either, but my experiences were actually the opposite.

i usually get searched when entering a foreign country because i have snacks on me or something. i usually have very little hassle when returning to the US, never been searched (knock on wood).

Experience getting back into us after a vacation during financial meltdown of 2008-2009

Immigration "officer": Are you sure you still have your job at the bank.

Me: yes

Immigration "officer": If that turns out to be false we will kick you out like dogs

Returning from Oslo, Norway Immigration officer: Why were you visiting Norway? Me: I was there visiting some friends. Immigration officer: Why do you have friends in another country, sir?

The sad part is. There is nothing you can say to that. You cannot argue with them. The best you can do is not say anything and take his abuse.

For a country that generally does a great job of customer service the experience you get as a foreigner entering the place is awful.

I just recently returned to the US and for the first time got to go through the citizen's/residents line (Green card holder), and the difference between the two was unbelievable. This time round, the queues were a fraction of the size, the immigration officers were friendly (as opposed to being outright rude to visitors) and the whole process was incredibly simple and quick. The difference is striking, and I'm certain it's not just me - visiting family always complain about how long immigration takes.

This doesn't jibe with my experience as a Canadian H1B visa holder who's flown into the US over a dozen times over the past 6 years. I've never found US customs agents to be rude; they are always courteous and often friendly. FWIW I usually fly into LAX so I wonder if your experience differs depending on where you enter.