Elevated Use of Absolutist Words Is a Marker of Anxiety, Depression [pdf]

Re:Elevated Use of Absolutist Words Is a Marker of Anxiety, ... by rco8786 on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @12:22PM (#16326167)

I go with “you often”. Or even better, rephrase the entire thing so that it can start with “it seems like” to avoid the accusatory tone altogether.

You never do the dishes vs You often don’t help out with the dishes vs It seems like I’m always the one doing the dishes.

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Re:Elevated Use of Absolutist Words Is a Marker of Anxiety, ... by kqr on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @03:51PM (#16327894)

vs "I often feel like I'm the only one doing the dishes"

vs "I have gotten the impression you like helping out, but I also noticed that sometimes you don't do the dishes even when you have good opportunities to. Is something wrong? Can I help you get started with that in some way?"

I strongly prefer the latter. More verbose, yes, but it also acknowledges the other person does help, it does not assume malice, and it anchors a strong desire to help out. Which is ehat we want!

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Re:Elevated Use of Absolutist Words Is a Marker of Anxiety, ... by mikestew on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @01:04PM (#16326559)

Huge fan of “too often” myself, along with “not always <get that out of the way up front>, but many times...”

I like your suggestion at the end of speaking from the speaker’s POV. I dunno, I first heard this pointed out in a 100 level psych class, a lot of folks here have been to college/uni. Hopefully this isn’t news to many. But we can be a forgetful lot.

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Re:Elevated Use of Absolutist Words Is a Marker of Anxiety, ... by ryanjshaw on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @01:39PM (#16326858)

What about "I'd like help with the dishes?"

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Re:Elevated Use of Absolutist Words Is a Marker of Anxiety, ... by muthdra on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @01:08PM (#16326590)

Yeah, my first reaction was also "what about 'often'?"

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