News for hackers. Stuff that matters.

A comment on People who are less willing to apologize also tend to be less self-compassionate. Parent comment

Re:People who are less willing to apologize also tend to be ... by tinokid on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @12:29AM (#16322417)
Yeah this is just a bizarre and selfish way of treating others. If you wronged someone, apologize. It has nothing to do with whether they will accept it, and certainly not with how well you know them.

Say you were texting and killed a kid crossing the street. You don't know his family and the mother will not accept your apology. Perhaps she even goes on TV crying about the person who killed her baby.

There are quite many cowardly individuals in America who would use legal reasons as an excuse not to apologize in a situation like that, and probably even a handful who would double down on this pathology and tell themselves the woman is "looking for drama". This is sad.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:People who are less willing to apologize also tend to be ... by racer-v on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @12:56AM (#16322505)
Who benefits when you try to force an unwanted apology on someone who doesn't want to be contacted by you? Consider whether you're just trying to assuage your own guilty conscience at the further expense of the victim.
[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:People who are less willing to apologize also tend to be ... by tinokid on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @11:56AM (#16325867)
I didn't mean to suggest the person would not want contact.

An apology doesn't itself assuage a guilty conscience, it is just an acknowledgement of the debt created by the wrong. A fake apology may be worse than saying nothing, but the prevalence of fake apologies is no excuse not to do the right thing.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:People who are less willing to apologize also tend to be ... by racer-v on Wednesday February 07, 2018 @12:31PM (#16326239)
It's a data point that many crime victims ask not to be contacted by the perpetrator. Again I'm asking you whose benefit this apology is for. If it's for your own benefit, maybe it's not warranted.
[ Parent | on HN ]