I'm not sure what you think side effects are, but I'm using the standard computer science definition you can look up on Wikipedia. If you have a microservice that modifies, e.g. some hidden state, it's a disaster waiting to happen. Having multiple microservices that have database side-effects will almost always end up with a race condition somewhere. Have fun debugging that.
If no one then what's the point of that service's existence?
> In computer science, a function or expression is said to have a side effect if it modifies some state outside its scope or has an observable interaction with its calling functions or the outside world besides returning a value. For example, a particular function might modify a global variable or static variable, modify one of its arguments, raise an exception, write data to a display or file, read data, or call other side-effecting functions.
Note "write data to a display or file". I think we agree that writing to a database falls under this definition, hence using terms like "side effecting" when talking about microservices is misleading.
This management of API boundaries is likely handled for you by an app, though, so from a user perspective the story is still "open netflix, enter password, watch movie".
That's plainly wrong. I get the gist of what you are saying and I more or less agree with it but you expressed it poorly.
Having API dependencies is not an issue. As long as the microservices don't touch each others data and only communicate with each other through their API boundaries microservices can and should build on top of each other.
In fact that's one of the core promises of the open source microservices architecture we are building (https://github.com/1backend/1backend).
I think your bad experiences are due to microservice apps which are unnecessarily fragmented into a lot of services. Sometimes, even when you respect service boundaries that can be a problem - when you have to release a bunch of services to ship a feature that's a sign that you have a distributed monolith on your hands.
I like to think of services, even my services, as third party ones I can't touch. When I view them this way the urge to tailor them to the current feature I'm hacking on lessens and I identify the correct microservice the given modification belongs to easier.