Let's look bottom up. A typical house in my neighborhood is about 1800 sq ft, 3/4 bedroom, so enough to have say 2 kids. It's about 2.2 million to buy said house. So that's about $8000/mo in mortgage, assuming you somehow managed to save $400K for a down payment. You'll also pay about $2000/mo in taxes. So that's $120K/yr just on housing costs.

But my neighborhood is the "poor" neighborhood. Most of the folks who live here make about $200K-$300K a year.

Over in the $400K neighborhood, their houses are about 2000-2500 sq ft, and cost about $3.5M. Keep in mind the median home in the US is about 2200 sq ft, so these houses are right in line with the US median.

At $3.5M, assuming they can save a 20% down payment, they'll be paying $14,000/mo in mortgage and $3,000/mo on property tax. So that's $204,000 a year just on housing to live in a median size home with good schools.

Using your math, after taxes and 401K, that leaves $38,000 a year for everything else. Or if you skip the 401K, it's $78,000 in post tax money.

So like I said, you aren't hurting, but you aren't crazy rich either.