Thanks for the pointer. I wasn't happy with my phrasing. I should have just referenced a dictionary. MW's sense d is what I intended to convey:

> "a person with whom one shares an intimate relationship : one member of a couple"

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/partner

I use that term because its gender neutral and relationship neutral. I find it irrelevant to a discussion whether we are married or not, or a member of the LGBT community or not. However I don't hide my gender or my partner's gender (ie. I use he and she forms due to practical reasons).

I have always assumed "partner" either means "business partner" or that the person is signaling both (1) "I'm gay" without being overt and (2) "I'm resent society's prevailing idea of marriage." at the same time.

One can use "spouse" or "significant other" to avoid the perception of being passive-aggressive.

I'd encourage you to give others the benefit of the doubt. Without other evidence, that "perception of being passive-agressive" is only that, a perception.

Those terms work as well, but the term "partner" translates 1:1 in my native language so I can use the term in my 2 main languages. YMMV.