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Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by timthelion on Friday September 22, 2017 @04:43AM (#15310355)
I too have this problem, I wonder, however, whether HN is a great place for such discussion. Not that it is off topic, but HN is a place that increases this feeling by creating an all or nothing atmosphere. There is no way to be seen just a little.

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Did the tree hear itself fall?

One of the first successful AI experiments was a computer in a booth at a fair. The computer had a genetic algorithm which would draw two pictures. The viewer was to decide which picture was better and select their answer using a set of buttons. The mutation of the algorithm which drew the "better" picture then "survived" till the next round. Despite the fact that the algorithm started by drawing random noise, it ended up creating symmetrical, abstract shapes with some aesthetic quality. The AI could not paint, but was it intelligent? It was able to create things, but it was reliant on the judgment of others to tell if they were good.

A person with no taste of their own, who is unable to judge whether they like something or not, and who is at the mercy of the input of others to decide their direction is quite similar to this genetic algorithm.

We need to learn to be able to experience things, and decide for ourselves whether we enjoy them or not in order to be able to create anything at all.

Do you have a sense for this?

I do.

Do you hear yourself? Do you see yourself? Do you SEE the product of your labors and enjoy them, or at least have an opinion on them? Or do you need others to see and hear for you?

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Impetus: Do you actually want to do the things you do? Or have you not found anything that you're truly passionate about yet?

I can see and hear, but I still lack impetus without the input of others. Indeed, I find that I can become so empty when I imagine that I am truly alone, that I can just lie on the floor and not move.

However, there are many people who successfully live alone in nature. True hermits. I believe that the difference is that you can "hear the music" you can "see the artwork" but if you don't enjoy it, then what's the point? In this post-industrial world, our cities and the buildings in which we live are so devoid of beauty that the passion is sucked from us.

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To whom does the voice in your head speak?

I often suffer from the problem that the voice in my head is always planning a conversation, or a speech, I struggle to think to myself. To talk to myself. I have been practicing this though, by using a program which records my voice and plays it back to me. I intentionally say embarrassing things that I would not want to publish. I ensure that I'm alone so that I can practice speaking to myself. I find that it does help, though it has not cured me.

Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by timthelion on Friday September 22, 2017 @05:19AM (#15310473)
Just for interest, I uploaded the script that I use to "talk to myself" here: http://ipfs.hobbs.cz/ipfs/QmTToAExveJ7cdR7oMShovunMmN8RtUC1L...

You need sox and python3 for it to run http://sox.sourceforge.net/.

You launch it with

./101things --delay=30

When it beeps, you start talking. After you have said 101 things to yourself, in between each track it will play back one of the things you said. I found it really boring to have a conversation with myself in the moment, so I try to say things that would be of interest to my future self, like 2 hours from now. It is a very strange experience.

Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by saimiam on Friday September 22, 2017 @07:31AM (#15311147)
Interesting that you're using ipfs. Didn't expect to see it in the wild.

I'll try your experiment with my phone's memo app.

Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by timthelion on Friday September 22, 2017 @07:43AM (#15311221)
I use ipfs, not out of some sort of edginess or hipness, but because it is literally the easiest way. I just run one command, ipfs add -w file/folder and it is online ;) Faster than scping something to the web server and having to enter the old password, remembering where to put it, ect. ;)...
Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by saimiam on Friday September 22, 2017 @04:54AM (#15310393)
Thank you so much for taking the time to give a thought out, personal answer.

At the risk of sounding really shallow, I think your AI example and this snippet describes me to a T.

>A person with no taste of their own, who is unable to judge whether they like something or not, and who is at the mercy of the input of others to decide their direction is quite similar to this genetic algorithm.

>Do you hear yourself? Do you see yourself? Do you SEE the product of your labors and enjoy them, or at least have an opinion on them? Or do you need others to see and hear for you?

I don't remember the last time I made something because I enjoyed making it...and I've made a lot of stuff recently - from frameworks to sites to home automation sensors. I did not getting pleasure from making them - once they were made, I asked myself "what next?" or "how to monetize?" The entire making process lost its charm the minute that thought came up.

>Impetus: Do you actually want to do the things you do? Or have you not found anything that you're truly passionate about yet?

I know I enjoy coding for its own sake. I sometimes enjoying running when I'm in the zone. I'm not "passionate" about them but I feel if someone were to question their usefulness in front of me, I'd fight them on the subject. Does that make me passionate for coding and running?

The voice in my head speaks to an audience and sometimes to the present me exhorting me to "show 'em!"

I'm going to come back to your answer in future to see if I can read more into it than what I gleaned at first glance.

Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by timthelion on Friday September 22, 2017 @05:16AM (#15310463)
> At the risk of sounding really shallow, I think your AI example and this snippet describes me to a T.

So you don't want to SOUND really shallow. Do you dislike having no likes or dislikes or do you simply think that "the public at large" judges people with no likes or dislikes?

Is it actually logically possible for you yourself to dislike having no dislikes? Surely if you dislike being shallow then you aren't shallow if being shallow is when you have no dislikes.

Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by saimiam on Friday September 22, 2017 @07:36AM (#15311177)
I would like to have likes to pull/point me in a certain direction. I imagine a person without likes or dislikes to be basically stuck in space and time.

By shallow I meant someone who needs external prodding to grow in a certain direction. Having likes or dislikes makes the process of growth easier.

Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by timthelion on Friday September 22, 2017 @04:48AM (#15310373)
I'd also like to add a fourth dimension to the problem, and that is.

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Distributed attention

Attention is like wealth, in that the distribution of it is unfair. Some people get lots of attention while others get none. When someone has a lot of attention, they are said to be famous. We've come to equate "getting attention" with "being famous" but it need not be this way. We can receive the love and attention of one or two close friends and that is quite as good as being famous. Indeed, it might be better. We're all for decentralization and distribution here, but HN is really horrible when it comes to the centralization of attention. 99% of posts fall flat on their faces, and only a few get attention. We need to learn to redistribute attention so that everyone gets their fair share.

Re:Ask HN: How to turn off my desire to be seen? by meric on Friday September 22, 2017 @10:51PM (#15317789)
We cannot change the fact that our loved ones' attention are directed into attention centralisation services like YouTube, Instagram, newspapers, politics discussions, etc. But we can choose to direct our attention to the people next to us. A well placed smile can really make someone's day. :)