But it's a bit weird to equate empathy for a condition beyond one's control with empathy for people who don't choose to use empathetic language.
I've been in a few classes or workshops where the instructors have taught people how to correct insensitive speech. It's something that can be done well.
http://www.dianegoodman.com/documents/RespondingToBiasedOrOf...
Personal anecdote: I was playing a game in college with some other students. One was periodically bragging about some particular sexual exploit in a roundabout way. I think he was looking for validation, but when he didn't get it, he tried again. I said something along the lines of, "That comment isn't acceptable and if you keep saying things like that I'm not going to play with you." It was definitely confrontational, it drew a line in the sand, and I didn't hear him say inappropriate comments for the months that we played together.
Half the struggle here is just deciding that someone else's behavior isn't acceptable and that you want to do something about it.