I'd say no. Not the valley. I just moved my family to Seattle, same situation. I'd been a freelancer in Kalamazoo and the work had mostly dried up, so I got this huge offer and it seemed too good to pass up. I'm having huge doubts as to whether it was the right decision. SV is twice as expensive, I'd not consider it.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15082982

Also have you lived in SV before? I did years ago and didn't care for it even as a 20-something. At least WA has no state tax, mountains right next door, and eh, I like the culture better. More real, less flashy, and still has some blue-collar too. I think better for families. If your offer is from a big name, then they've certainly got a Seattle office. I'd inquire about that possibility. And salaries are very close, especially considering the state tax.

But like I suggested, even Seattle is hard to call a slam dunk. If there was more than one crappy company to work for in Kalamazoo I'd have loved to stay. It's cheap, it's a college town so there's stuff to do, has an amazing arts scene for its size, great outdoor activities, good public schools and park/trail system, and a good mix of political views that still talk to each other. I've lived in IN and OH too, and had less affection for those. So I guess a lot of it depends on your current situation too.

But if you've got a decent job with benefits and are living in a place you don't mind, 140K won't get you far in SV. One other quick note: before moving out here I looked at housing prices but didn't realize that the places that were showing up in my budget were all horrible school districts, so if you think you're seeing some nearly-affordable options, cross-reference the school guides.

Used to live in Kalamazoo, but now in the Bay Area. Kalamazoo is a great place. A big enough city so that you can find most things you need, but ridiculously cheap housing. At 25 and fresh out of school I bought my first house on a salary of $50K/yr. Brand new home, one of the better neighborhoods, great schools, short commute. You could find nice bungalows from the 1960's for less than $100K.

However, it was a one company town, that's why I left.

Also consider what to do if you don't like your new job. (My situation). After spending a ton of money and dragging family through untold stress to make the big move, you're stuck in a job that isn't that suitable to your strengths or interests. You have to worry about your performance all the time, work late, and have no particular interest in the subject beyond making the next mortgage payment. Any financial buffer you have now will be shot in no time in SV, whereas presumably in the midwest you have enough buffer to take some time experimenting.

That said, perhaps that's one upshot of SV over Seattle. If you don't like your job in the big 5, there are lots more options from startups and mid-range companies to choose from. Seattle isn't quite as deep, especially east side. Granted, I haven't tested those waters, so maybe it's deeper than I realize.

Also I think if you're in SWE and have 20 years experience in anything beyond VB6 or COBOL you're being vastly lowballed. Most relos from MW to west coast are. Feel free to DM me, same name at gmail or twitter.

Good to hear you don't face ageism. Mind to share specifics - what industry/stack?