Intuitively it seems pretty rare for Midwesterners to live in cities or "urban" houses. Most of us seem to be in the metro areas, but in freeway-connected suburbs, not urban cores.

Yeah. I'm paying 1k a month for 1k square feet about 15 minutes from Minneapolis. When I want to do stuff in the city it's pretty easy to drive or use Lyft. I spend most of my time camping, playing board games, or doing martial arts and none of those are improved by actually living in a city so it makes little sense for me to live in one. Not everyone has the same hobbies so I understand if some people need cities but I talk to a lot of people who are paying 3k a month on the west coast and living a very similar life