I think many of the points you're making are in the article. Emotional regulation and the corresponding process models are staples of at least a few forms of therapy.
Ideally, we should all be able to regulate our reaction to our own emotions, but in practice some people aren't as good at it as others for various reasons.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_self-regulation#Proc...
Ideally, we should all be able to regulate our reaction to our own emotions, but in practice some people aren't as good at it as others for various reasons.