If this is true, then I would say it's laziness on the author's part to not try to reconcile this contradiction or to at least to address it in a deeper way.
Or maybe it's laziness on your part not making enough effort to understand what he is trying to tell you ... This is not a maths essay, this is literature. Contradiction is part of it (as it is part of life), or even: contradiction is the whole point of it. On the other hand, there is no contradiction at all.
Interestingly, your comment is so much removed from what I read in this essay that the only thing I can recommend you is not worry about it, just set this story aside and try reading it again 25 years from now. It will most probably make a difference.
I'm not sure why this essay was posted to HN, but I'm glad to have read it. Thanks for posting it!
>then I would say it's laziness on the author's part to not try to reconcile this contradiction or to at least to address it in a deeper way
Authors are not there to force-feed explanations and offer cliff notes. They convey the experience.
He seems fully aware of the contradictions within it, and isn't making any attempts to rationalize it. He's likely hoping that the reader will try to understand the mindset that makes this contradiction possible.