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Re:“Let her speak please” by ryanmarsh on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @01:38PM (#14508290)
People get talked over by people. I see this all the time and it's generally sexless. As a consultant I've helped at least 100 teams have crucial conversations across tens of businesses. I don't get the constant refrain that this is a male vs. female thing.
Re:“Let her speak please” by gpawl on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @02:33PM (#14508752)
Re:“Let her speak please” by _Codemonkeyism on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @02:51PM (#14508899)
Your fuzzy memory is not research so I quote the three top scientific magazines: Forbes, HBR [1] & NYT.

(If you look in the articles, they quote studies with 20 participants. At university I would have been destroyed when making fundamental claims on a sample size of 20).

And yes my gut feeling tells me women get interrupted more often. And from this comment you may assume I'm guilty of this, though my bad social habits probably interrupt men as often.

[1] the magazine of business anecdotes.

Re:“Let her speak please” by burkaman on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @03:48PM (#14509345)
Here's one with 216 participants, and a whole bunch of citations that might be interesting: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1046496404263728

Another one from 1989 with 186 participants: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/250069045_Interrupt...

Re:“Let her speak please” by belorn on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @06:58PM (#14510517)
Please quote the exact number in those papers. The summery of the first do not specify the levels of women interrupting women or men interrupting men, explicitly focusing only on interaction between men and women.

The other one only say that "both men and women exhibiting higher levels of interruption behavior in male-dominated groups".

Citations is only as good as the ability it provide to verify a claim. Those do not do that as far as summery goes.

Re:“Let her speak please” by burkaman on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @09:20PM (#14511185)
I'm not trying to prove anything, it just sounded like people were interested in relevant research with higher sample sizes. The first says "The participants for this study included 216 university students". The second says "We systematically varied the sex composition of the six-person groups, [...] Data on 31 groups in all were collected."

The second study directly addresses this discussion: "The odds of a male attempting to interrupt another male (.078) are less than one-half the odds of a male attempting to interrupt a female (.163). Females attempt to interrupt male and female speakers at essentially identical levels (odds of .146 and .141 respectively). In other words, men discriminate in their interruption attempts, interrupting women much more often than men. Women, on the other hand, do not discriminate; they attempt to interrupt men and women equally. Group composition does not appear to influence interruption attempts."

Re:“Let her speak please” by belorn on Thursday June 08, 2017 @05:32AM (#14512977)
Interesting to see actually numbers. They imply that the one odd number here is the low rate of male attempting to interrupt another male, and that the natural base line should be around 0.1435 (assuming that the female variance of 0.0025 is the natural one for all humans).

That changes the tone of the issue. A 0.0195 difference from the norm is tiny on the negative discrimination of men interrupting women if we compare it to the norm difference of 0.0655 as positive discrimination for men interrupting men. As a social issue of 13.6% negative discrimination vs 45.7% positive discrimination, its a good time to ask what we want to fix. Is it the negative 13.6%, which mean we want men to interrupt women at the same rate as women interrupt women, or do we want men to treat other men worse by interrupting men as much as women do?

It also raises questions about moderators. Should we favor male moderators over female ones because they will in average interrupt 20% less (.241 vs .287) for a panel of 50% women and 50% men? The original post had a panel of 80% men and 50% men, which given the above numbers would have a male moderator interrupt a panelist at the rate of 0.095 while a female moderator would have interrupted a panelist with the rate of 0.145. A female moderator would be 52% worse than a male moderator in this specific case.

Re:“Let her speak please” by exadeci on Thursday June 08, 2017 @03:09AM (#14512475)
Still a sample too small, they need at least 1500 participants IIRC
Re:“Let her speak please” by camelite on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @03:03PM (#14508989)
Your links do not justify your confident tone. Two are about the 7 Supreme Court Justices and some Google guy. That's 8 people. The first is about a study involving 11 male-female interactions (19 now), and a study which noted that "...The men interrupted their female conversational partners 2.1 times during a three minute conversation. That number dropped to 1.8 when they spoke to other men." So men just interrupt more in general, not against women specifically, i.e. not sexist behaviour but a simple gender difference.

Ironically, the guy's "fuzzy memories" are more accurate than your "research-based" opinions.

Re:“Let her speak please” by ryanmarsh on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @04:11PM (#14509508)
> So men just interrupt more in general, not against women specifically

I'll buy that. If this disproportionately affects women then I'll buy that too. I don't buy that men interrupt women specifically out of some sort of bias. My experience has been that the more passionate conversationalists among us will interrupt anyone who will let them.

Re:“Let her speak please” by Goladus on Wednesday June 14, 2017 @02:32PM (#14554882)
The more interesting question is whether there's a 3rd variable we're missing.

You were right in your initial assertion: people talk over people. The people desperately trying to prove that "men talk over women" using statistical analysis are all missing the point.

The first thing to do, before looking for sex differences, is to try and identify the reasons why people interrupt, because there are many of them and sometimes there are conflicting or related motives.

Gathering anecdotal evidence would be a starting point for articulating hypotheses. What are the conditions of the discussion? What is at stake? What is the expertise of the participants? What are the personality factors? What is the general conversational ability of each participant? How long is the attention span of each participant? What is the apparent purpose of each individual interruption?

There are so many factors you could look for before looking at sex differences. And would the sex differences persist when those factors were controlled for?

Re:“Let her speak please” by jgalt212 on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @05:18PM (#14509960)
> passionate conversationalists

a nice way of saying workplace bullies.

Re:“Let her speak please” by DigDugDoug on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @07:27PM (#14510686)
I think you're losing your focus on defending your position in the face of the criticism you're receiving. I agree that there are other possible explanations besides "passion" such as men generally displaying more aggressive behavior which could, I'm conjecturing because this is a hypothetical, spill over into not only physical behavior but also conversational behavior. However, without contextualization, aggressive behavior is not the same as damaging behavior which is what you're implying when you bring up bullying. For my part, I agree with the others who don't think your sources support the position you're taking.

That being said, it seems to me that the broader implication of your position is that when men and women participate in group dialogue the meta-game of the dialogue often leans in favor of the male speakers. I'd need to do more research to prove this but in general, if this was your position, I'd be inclined to agree with it based on my own anecdotal experiences. However, this still doesn't establish the hostile intention or implicit sexism that, from my reading of your posts, is presented in your claims.

Re:“Let her speak please” by lgas on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @07:17PM (#14510638)
Not really. Bullies have something specific going on. They are trying to hurt people. Many average people get excited when they talk about a subject they are passionate about and enter into a state entirely unlike any bullying I've ever seen but which nevertheless results in non-bullying behaviors like talking over people. These people are exhibiting behaviors like interrupting because they are excited and passionate, not because they are trying to strike out at the people they are interrupting.
Re:“Let her speak please” by mirimir on Thursday June 08, 2017 @03:11AM (#14512481)
I'm occasionally accused of interrupting others. But here's the thing: I like being interrupted. I enjoy conversations with lots of rapid back and forth. When I'm misguided, I want to be corrected as quickly as possible. I want others to finish my thoughts.

But hey, I mostly rein it in :)

Re:“Let her speak please” by lgas on Monday June 12, 2017 @03:42PM (#14540381)
That's what I'm saying -- you're not a bully.
Re:“Let her speak please” by ryanmarsh on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @08:34PM (#14511019)
Sometimes men care too.
Re:“Let her speak please” by dando on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @08:52PM (#14511075)
Even if there is a "clear pattern", that doesn't mean every instance of a man talking over woman is sexism. Not even close.

So even if you can prove there is a pattern, it doesn't invalidate his statement that "it's generally sexless"

Re:“Let her speak please” by Harimwakairi on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @02:41PM (#14508811)
Thanks for bringing data.
Re:“Let her speak please” by Mz on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @04:29PM (#14509618)
From what I gather, it does get done to women more than to men. From my perspective, an even bigger problem is that women are more expected to just take it.

Having read the piece, it is by a woman who spoke up and said "Let her speak, please" and that's fine. But I have mixed feelings about the title of this piece and how it looks before you read it, because white knighting is a big problem for women. Men coming to the rescue of some damsel in distress and championing her often just deepens the problem. It often simply reinforces the idea that the only role women are allowed to play is that of victim and any justice that happens will be credited to some heroic guy. It often gets done in a way that in no way empowers her. It is frequently just some guy coming in, playing hero and getting pats on the back and when he goes off stage, her situation remains just as crappy and disempowered as before.

I am a woman and I personally don't have any problem with giving the guys push back and that gets me perceived as incredibly confrontational and fighty. At one time, my account on HN was rate limited. My feeling on that is that simply standing up for myself as a woman who often gets a lot of pushback merely for being a demographic outlier was being punished. That winds up a no win situation for women. If you don't stand up for yourself, you get walked on. If you do, you can be actively punished for it.

To be fair, the current mod team on HN has been great. I am sure they often find me cringe-worthy, but they have made me feel much more like I can report people who are really engaging in bad behavior towards me that is beyond the pale and much more like I can stand my ground without fear that doing so is highly likely to get me banned, no matter how reasonable I am about it.

Hacker News has generally been great about putting up with my outrageous agenda* to open my mouth here and engage in conversation on equal footing with the guys. I am well aware that is a shocking expectation and is simply Not Done in so many spaces, both online and off. I want to thank everyone here for being so good about that.

* http://micheleincalifornia.blogspot.com/2016/11/my-agenda-fo...

Re:“Let her speak please” by mpweiher on Thursday June 08, 2017 @02:32AM (#14512332)
> women are more expected to just take it.

Or women, in general, just don't want the bother.

> giving the guys push back

Excellent. Too many women don't, in my experience. In my personal experience, I find women not standing up for themselves in the situation at hand, and then complaining about it for ages after.

> highly likely to get me banned, no matter how reasonable I am about it.

That seems unlikely. If you are getting banned, maybe you're not being reasonable about it?

> If you do, you can be actively punished for it.

This is not a women-only issue. Men get "punished" just as much for unpopular opinions. Just like they get talked over if they let themselves be talked over. etc.

Re:“Let her speak please” by watwut on Thursday June 08, 2017 @03:25AM (#14512539)
> Excellent. Too many women don't, in my experience. In my personal experience, I find women not standing up for themselves in the situation at hand, and then complaining about it for ages after.

That complaining about it is pushing back. And you whine about it right now.

Re:“Let her speak please” by mpweiher on Thursday June 08, 2017 @05:14AM (#14512920)
Did you even understand that sentence? Let me clear it up.

The "not standing up for themselves" is in the actual situation, against the actual person they need to stand up against.

The "complaining afterward" is after the situation has passed, and complaining to a completely different person not involved in the original interaction.

That is the exact opposite of "standing up for yourself", and it is also not "pushing back", because in order for it to be a push "back", it has to be a push against the original force, not against some random other person.

If I got berated by my boss, which I just let happen, and then reacted by, a while later, berating you, a completely uninvolved third party, would you consider that "standing up for myself" and "pushing back"?

Re:“Let her speak please” by qb45 on Thursday June 08, 2017 @10:40AM (#14514479)
They don't stand up for themselves because they are often outnumbered and/or outmuscled and habitually don't believe that we have their back, for various reasons.
Re:“Let her speak please” by mpweiher on Thursday June 08, 2017 @01:13PM (#14515537)
You understand the meaning of "for yourself", right?

It exactly means standing up, well, for yourself, and not relying on or waiting for others.

Re:“Let her speak please” by watwut on Thursday June 08, 2017 @03:27PM (#14516499)
If you stand up and get punished and ostracised/mocked as a result then standing up did you no good. You will learn not to do it.

Stand up thing worked great in this story. I trust you that your relative could suceed in standing up instead of being treated as crazy bad women. A lot of it is residuum from old times when gender roles were different and some of both genders keep going old way.

Her existence does not excuse dudes who attempt to dominate women more them men. I did won those fights in the past, but the older I am the less I care about whether it was intentional or subconscious. It affects me all the same.

That is why stories like this are good to hear about - it is good role model for women lime your relative - to see that she can stop the dude, not to consider his interest and win.

Maybe you could show her the story to make her inspired for that.

Re:“Let her speak please” by qb45 on Friday June 09, 2017 @04:10AM (#14519928)
> crazy bad women

This stereotype doesn't come from nowhere.

I found a video of this talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er7qPv8jsZo

This "push to Hubeny's field of expertise" seems to start at 1:02:00, "let her speak" is at 1:05:35.

The OP's account is overdramatized and sometimes plain wrong, like the suggestion that Holt didn't let Hubeny speak at all for these three minutes (she had two long blocks) or that there was a dead silence after the OP spoke up (there wasn't). And that's a part of the problem: feminism is routinely being represented by individuals whose subjective perception of events seems to diverge from what others see. FWIW.

Re:“Let her speak please” by mpweiher on Friday June 09, 2017 @06:44AM (#14520472)
Exactly. And when that is pointed out, they chalk it up to "oppression", like any other kind of criticism. Nice little self-reinformcent mechanism that easily leads to completely decoupling yourself from reality.
Re:“Let her speak please” by mpweiher on Friday June 09, 2017 @04:10AM (#14519927)
You don't appear to understand the concept of "standing up for yourself".

It fundamentally includes "in the face of adversity". And that means that you do it well knowing that there can and likely will be negative consequences. If you only do it under a guarantee of no repercussions, then you're not standing up...for anything, really.

Re:“Let her speak please” by qb45 on Friday June 09, 2017 @04:18AM (#14519963)
Everybody knows what it means, but there are people who are too scared to try. Nobody should really have "a guarantee of no repercussions" when throwing accusations around but at the same time there exist people who could use more support to deal with situations when bad things are happening to them.
Re:“Let her speak please” by watwut on Saturday June 10, 2017 @03:33AM (#14526501)
Nope it does not. Standing for yourself in those situation is about hurting opponent so that he does not try again. That is what men actually do - they are surely as hell less likely to stand up to the boss - such behavior is quite rare. If you succeed, you successfully stood for yourself regardless of whether there were risks or not. It is also a lot about acting aggressive before there was the actual need, to prevent the situation from even happening.

If women have to learn to stand up for themselves as you imply they should, they need to find a way to hurt people who treat them the way they don't like.

Re:“Let her speak please” by Mz on Thursday June 08, 2017 @12:53PM (#14515409)
Or women, in general, just don't want the bother.

Yeah, that must be why blacks got lynched in the Deep South. They just couldn't be bothered to stand up for themselves when the KKK came for them.

/s

Re:“Let her speak please” by mpweiher on Thursday June 08, 2017 @01:12PM (#14515533)
"Nicht alles was hinkt ist auch ein Vergleich"

This comparison is ridiculous beyond the pale. Show me evidence of women getting lynched for speaking up.

Re:“Let her speak please” by Mz on Thursday June 08, 2017 @01:23PM (#14515608)
No, it isn't ridiculous. It is exaggerated and that is intentional. The intent is to make it clear that when the social environment is sufficiently hostile, it is ridiculous to act like it is the victim's fault for being victimized.

I already said above that I was rate limited. I believe this was essentially because when I first joined, I would get dog piled simply for being a woman opening her mouth here. You ignore that and accuse me of misbehaving as the reason I was concerned that I might wind up banned, no matter how hard I tried to behave. Thankfully, I no longer worry about that like I once did.

Re:“Let her speak please” by lubesGordi on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @01:58PM (#14508483)
Totally, this is her political perception grid overlaying reality. If Jim Holt or whoever thought that her theories were contradictory, then likely he would've talked over whoever was sitting there, regardless of sex. It could have had as much to do with his condescension to what he perceived as an inferior theory as anything.
Re:“Let her speak please” by zamalek on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @03:06PM (#14509012)
> theories were contradictory

That's actually a desirable quality. It means that you are not emotionally attached to your theories (you shouldn't be, it's science not religion) and are willing to contradict them. Still, most people would think that a bad thing.

Re:“Let her speak please” by Sharon_Barnden on Saturday June 10, 2017 @10:06PM (#14530249)
Yes they do Ryan. And it's something we need to stop. In this particular case though the female expert was asked a question related to her own very specialised area of expertise by the male host, AND then the person asking the question (a) answered on her behalf, (b) then talked over her when she tried to answer, and (c) then made fun of her when her response was to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Truly appalling especially when for over an hour the other all male members of the panel had spoken at length without interruption.
Re:“Let her speak please” by jjtheblunt on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @05:42PM (#14510097)
what you describe matches my observations too: i see it happen in both directions, with the most pushy example being, in what i see, certain women talking over everyone regardless of gender. it's just a personality trait, perhaps?
Re:“Let her speak please” by elif on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @03:23PM (#14509151)
My suspicion is that it is based largely upon context.

I would postulate that academia and journalism are still pretty sexist compared to the 'tens of businesses' you observed.

Potentially in support of your perspective: I see the overspeaking roles inverted in the context of reality TV shows, though that could potentially be seen as a counter-action to normal social roles which develops as structure of society is removed... which would imply the sexist paradigm is the prevalent one.

Re:“Let her speak please” by ryanmarsh on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @04:06PM (#14509465)
> I would postulate that academia and journalism are still pretty sexist

Two industries I have not had the pleasure of engaging with. My coaching experience has been around healthcare, insurance, banking, transportation, energy, construction, software, audit, and a few other random things.

Re:“Let her speak please” by devnonymous on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @01:57PM (#14508477)
Reading the comments here I am surprised at all the people who are claiming that people get talked over by other people all the time and it has nothing to do with sex.

I mean, yeah there's no denying that there exist pushy jerks who are jerks to everyone but guess what? those kinds are more likely to be even greater jerks with women. So either this guy was a regular jerk talking over her because she was a woman or being that special kind of jerk who normally talks over some men but talks over most women. Why is there an difference of opinion about this?

Does anyone really think there is a breed of jerks who talk over some/most men but will never do that/will do less of that to a woman?

Re:“Let her speak please” by complexmango on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @02:09PM (#14508563)
That precludes the breed of jerks who will talk over anybody that will tolerate it.

What makes you think there aren't women who also like to claim the center of attention, regardless of other men OR women around them?

I don't understand this need to idolize one sex over the other, when the issue is that some people (like this moderator) are just more tone deaf or inconsiderate than others.

Equality between sexes implies treating everyone as a human rather than assuming that this moderator is a stand-in for men in general.

Re:“Let her speak please” by devnonymous on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @02:27PM (#14508707)
> That precludes the breed of jerks who will talk over anybody that will tolerate it

So are you claiming that those sort of jerks are not going to be extra nasty to women that will tolerate it? That they are going to be equally nasty to people of both sexes? If that's what you're claiming, I'll humbly disagree but won't engage any further.

> What makes you think there aren't women who also like to claim the center of attention, regardless of other men OR women around them?

I never claimed that there aren't such women. Indeed there exist women who behave worse with other women than they do with men. But then what's your point? Women being sexist doesn't make it okay for men to continue to be so now, does it?

Re:“Let her speak please” by d0lph on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @02:39PM (#14508797)
I think his point was that this is not an example of sexism because such people will talk over any gender. Now perhaps these types of people will talk over women more, but in this case it seems this guy is just a jerk talking over either gender.
Re:“Let her speak please” by weberc2 on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @04:44PM (#14509715)
This has been my experience. My wife claims the opposite experience; people (male or female) who are usually rude to men are less prone to be rude to her or other women. Of course, being more of a jerk to men than to women is, apparently, the worst kind of sexism and the very reason women need feminism. Or something.
Re:“Let her speak please” by mpweiher on Thursday June 08, 2017 @02:45AM (#14512377)
> So are you claiming that those sort of jerks are not going to be extra nasty to women that will tolerate it?

That is also my observation. We are just vastly more sensitive to aggressive/jerk behavior against women ("protect the women"), and this is highly emotionally charged for most people.

For a rough intro into the phenomenon, check out the youtube videos comparing bystander reactions to the exact same behavior in a woman -> man vs. a man -> woman setting.

Re:“Let her speak please” by exadeci on Thursday June 08, 2017 @03:22AM (#14512526)
If it was a men complaining about the same situation women would be the first to tell him to man up and speak up.
Re:“Let her speak please” by kapauldo on Thursday June 08, 2017 @07:29AM (#14513355)
I'm guessing you're male.
Re:“Let her speak please” by syngrog66 on Wednesday June 07, 2017 @06:06PM (#14510230)
thank you for saying this, and be willing to be downvoted by the PC hivemind. I've personally long given up trying to share a non-PC-orthodox view here on this topic