It's not the norm. Most Americans (at least in my experience) will go out of their way to use an ATM that doesn't charge them. Accordingly, picking a bank with a large ATM network is a major consideration when choosing a bank. Some smaller banks compete with this by reimbursing fees charged by out-of-network ATMs, making all ATMs effectively free.

It is certainly possible to pay for those services, but it's not normal. Some people let it happen out of laziness, or due to not being aware that they can do better.

We do have a fees problem, but it's mostly with other services. For example, many banks will charge some outrageous amount (like $5, outrageous compared their cost) to give you an electronic copy of a past bank statement. High overdraft fees are common. If you accidentally use your debit card to make a purchase that exceeds what you have in your account, the bank will often charge you a ~$35 fee rather than reject the transaction. This is optional, but they push it hard and sell it as a "service," since it means you're never left unable to complete your transaction. Never mind that being out a bunch of money is bad too.

Even worse, some banks (at least for a while) would intentionally maximize your overdraft fees by sorting your transactions on any give day from largest to smallest before applying them. For example, imagine if you have $99 in your account, and you use your debit card to make purchases, in order, of $1, $1, $1, and $100. The last transaction should overdraw the account, hit you with a $35 fee, and your balance will be -$39, right? Wrong! They'll run the $100 transaction first, overdrawing the account, and then run the $1 transactions on the overdrawn account. Net result: four $35 fees and a balance of -$144.

So yes, many of our banks suck, especially larger ones, but it's not quite as bad as everyone paying to withdraw and deposit.