I think the author was using "feign" to mean "express in a negative way" - focus on what it looks like, not how honest it is. At the point where someone is saying "how can you not know that" they've already gone beyond their immediate honest reaction into moral judgement.
Re:No feigning surprise
by matthewwiese on Saturday April 29, 2017 @09:48PM
(#14229765)
Oh I no doubt understood the author's intentions with using feign in that manner. However, that does not mean it was the correct term to use, despite what we may "feel" or "get" from it; nevertheless, troubling ourselves with such a minor detail is really rather ridiculous. Besides, if we go any further, conversation on this runs the risk of igniting a rather banal descriptivist/prescriptivist flame war. :)
The closest term to describe what the author meant is I believe a litote: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Litotes
I think this is a good example of a 'well, actually.'
https://www.recurse.com/manual#sec-environment
I'm not grandstanding. I can prove it by admitting I still don't understand the rule:
If a newcomer expresses genuine surprise, are they breaking the "No feigning surprise" rule or not?
edit: typo
There is no "litote". "Litotes" is not a plural noun.
> if somebody gives you a gift you knew was coming and pretend you're baffled by its appearance
I never know what to do when somebody goes through a lot of trouble to surprise me, but I figure it out anyway. Usually I play along and act surprised because it makes the other person feel good.
Imagine your girlfriend was planning a surprise birthday present for six months and somehow the secret leaked. You saw an open tab, or one of your common friends spilled the beans, or whatever. Are you going to ruin her excitement about surprising you just because "feigning surprise is bad"?
If anything, if one feigns surprise, they are acting in bad faith. I agree with the title of the article -- don't feign surprise, e.g. if somebody gives you a gift you knew was coming and pretend you're baffled by its appearance -- but do show surprise when someone you know who is intelligent is missing a small puzzle piece in their knowledge space.
Not in a belligerent way, of course, as the author points out: use it as an opportunity to educate. I ain't about to berate a friend of mine for not knowing something, but it would be quite disingenuous to hide my surprise; in my eyes, that's comparable to talking down to them.