Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by Zelmor on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @04:54AM (#14201515)

What I have found out over the years is that having roughly 4-6 months worth of living expenses in the bank (unblocked and accessible within 24 hours) alleviates stress. Figure out how many months worth of savings makes you feel comfortable, and have an 'oh shit' budget figured out for times of willing/unwilling unemployment. For example, I can cut my spendings by 40% in case of unemployment simply by cutting luxury items. That 2.5 kilograms of light roasted coffee each month, dining, massage and clothing expenses isn't all that necessary, and can be cut temporarily.

So yeah, being able to quit and leave whenever I want and take 2-3 months of break does take off a lot of weight from one's shoulders. 40 hours a week with no overtime or on-call for me! I will not be the employee with the mad bonuses when the time comes for that, but I will also be the one not on medication/suicide watch/psychiatric aid. The company will have a stable workforce that is able to care an adequate amount for the company's well-being, and I will not spend my bonus on keeping my health intact. If you don't want to employ such a person, I don't want to work for you either. Easy as that. :^)

So yeah, the essence of my comment, I would say, is that make sure you have financial get-away. You don't have to subscribe to the crazy USA way of overtime>money>health issues>expenses>overtime to compensate for expenses. Having a small vegetable garden also helps, or just caring for plants on your windowsill.

Also, cats.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by twobyfour on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @06:19AM (#14201875)

It's easy to forget that depression isn't rational. A depressed person may worry that they're unhirable and won't be able to find a job in those 4-6 months. They may expect that any job they do find will be as bad as the current one, or worse. If they're on a visa, they may worry about deportation and having to upend their lives if they leave their current job. They may worry that a gap on their resume will affect their career prospects. They may worry that their friends and family will judge them if they're unemployed for a while. Etcetera ad infinitum.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by Zelmor on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @08:12AM (#14202305)

I agree, good point. In such case, visit your nearest meditation center and start breathing. Things will be alright.

I speak from experience.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by croon on Thursday April 27, 2017 @05:24AM (#14210220)

I have 3-6 months buffer, depending on lifestyle (can probably stretch it a bit more). I'm sure it's better than it would've been otherwise, but my stress isn't gone still. I still struggle with whether I'm good enough to get another contract. Do I network enough? Do I go to meet-ups enough? Do I read up on industry developments enough? And this from someone who has his own company and doesn't answer to anyone but clients, and have never been fired from a job.

Confidence and security I guess can never come externally. I'm better at it than when I was younger, but I haven't arrived yet.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by loftyal on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @05:13AM (#14201595)

Doesn't help when you have notice period of 2 months

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by Zelmor on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @05:28AM (#14201668)

I bet you can find enough enjoyment in 0 overtime, long lunch breaks with co-workers, and those articles gathering dust on your reading list to entertain yourself for those 2 months. Not that you shouldn't do work, far from that, but for most people once they quit, emotional attachment to work ceases to exist.

So cut some slack, put in the hours contractually necessary, but don't break your neck being at work 9AM sharp, meeting arbitrary deadlines set by management, or attending the meetings you could have just set to "tentative, but I'll probably pass, thanks".

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by thecatspaw on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @05:19AM (#14201629)

if you feel so shitty about work that you're getting suicidal im sure a doctor/psychologist will write you a doctors note for those 2 months

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by bamboozled on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @07:13AM (#14202082)

That note probably won't do much for your mental health if you _know_ what's on the other side of your break. I think the OPs advice is pretty sound, give yourself some options.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by rhizome on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @02:13PM (#14205512)

Give notice, then take two months off under FMLA.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by paulcole on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @09:55AM (#14202933)

For the most part, in the United States, this kind of notice is a courtesy not 100% required.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by JBReefer on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @10:51AM (#14203437)

Are there any states where it's illegal to just walk out? I know you can in New York and all of the Midwest.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by paulcole on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @12:16PM (#14204333)

I have no legal knowledge, but since that has never stopped anyone on the internet from speculating in the past:

1. Seems like it might be criminal to walk off the job if you're a surgeon in the middle of a operation, firefighter at a fire, etc.

2. Otherwise, it seems possible that you could be sued by your employer for walking off the job but criminal, probably not.

3. If my employer tried to physically prevent me from leaving work, I'd call the police immediately.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by loftyal on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @10:52AM (#14203450)

I'm in the UK, yes you can get sued.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by BearGoesChirp on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @10:50AM (#14203433)

>40 hours a week with no overtime or on-call for me! I will not be the employee with the mad bonuses when the time comes for that, but I will also be the one not on medication/suicide watch/psychiatric aid.

I'm guessing you'll bring in more per hour than they will, even with their bonus.

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Re:Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress by jankedeen on Wednesday April 26, 2017 @11:34AM (#14203859)

Cats are cool. They love you and hang out regardless. I've followed this pattern recently and realized that there is a balance that can be met in the middle. Do the easy stuff all and any of the time and do the hard stuff as little as possible. That way you can make the $$ and stay sane.

The trick there is to at least do the hard stuff some of the time so you stay up to date and ready for the next thing.

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