If I write down all my friends' birthdays on a calendar and use that as a reminder to get in touch, is that shallow? Some of us are just bad at remembering these things.

Also, when you work 60+ hours a week, have a kid, have a partner with whom to maintain a relationship, and spend an astonishing amount of time on chores, it's not shallow to just get distracted. For what it's worth, people remember, I think, just not as often as they'd like.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being organised about staying in contact.

Perhaps it is something best kept as a one sided thing though where only the organiser knows that they are being systematic about maintaining their friendships.

You could mostly do this with a pencil and paper. Would it still seem shallow if someone tracked contact with people in their journal under a 'Important Relationships' heading?