I have had my Facebook account deleted now for about a year now. A major motivation in doing so was when an ex-coworker of mine and my Dad got in a very heated argument. It was incredibly awkward and could have even harmed my professional career had it been some other coworkers/ex-coworkers I was friends with.

Facebook thrusts humans into very unnatural environments and just says "have at it"

Arguing is very natural and we would do a whole lot more of it if we lived in real democracies where our votes mattered and had serious consequences (as opposed to a once-every-four-years thing, while everything else is left up to "the market").

You can't both have your opinion matter, and disagreements of opinion not matter.

However, my Father and an ex-coworker of mine socializing is not even remotely natural.

If they were voting in city council it would be. As I've said before, we now vote very rarely once in a blue moon, and leave everything else up to the market.

So you never confront each other about their opinions directly, you just let the market mediate for you.

> Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep the discussion going for a little while, but they quickly degenerate it into ad-hominem attacks (which is impressive because I am a stranger to them) and I give up.

Sounds similar to real life though when serious topics come up...some people aren't interested in their views being challenged, get overly defensive and don't care about what an ad-hominem attack is. You're best either avoiding those kinds of conversations or those kinds of people.

In real life when I engage with one friend about a topic his friend who I don't know doesn't step in and start attacking me.

Really? Pretty sure this is common in group conversations if you talk about divisive topics like politics, nuclear power, GM food, vaccinations etc. I guess with Facebook the group is a lot bigger though.

In real life it is possible to judge the mood of a group and avoid or defuse contentious situations. In addition, such groups are usually transient. Real people, especially friends of friends or other passing acquaintances, don't usually follow you home, and then to work the next day, and the next, constantly telling you why your opinion is wrong.

Online, there is no escape short of opting out entirely.

In all, social media gives a megaphone to strident opinions, and has a chilling effect on everyone else.

Yeah I think the point is that in real life it's easy to have a quiet conversation with your friend without a bunch of other people chiming in.