As an anecdote, I very rarely use Facebook. But recently saw someone on my feed share their thoughts on a very interesting topic that had a lot of nuance. I thought I would weigh in because I know this person is thoughtful and open to productive discussion, so I leave a comment.

Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep the discussion going for a little while, but they quickly degenerate it into ad-hominem attacks (which is impressive because I am a stranger to them) and I give up.

I have had my Facebook account deleted now for about a year now. A major motivation in doing so was when an ex-coworker of mine and my Dad got in a very heated argument. It was incredibly awkward and could have even harmed my professional career had it been some other coworkers/ex-coworkers I was friends with.

Facebook thrusts humans into very unnatural environments and just says "have at it"

Arguing is very natural and we would do a whole lot more of it if we lived in real democracies where our votes mattered and had serious consequences (as opposed to a once-every-four-years thing, while everything else is left up to "the market").

You can't both have your opinion matter, and disagreements of opinion not matter.

However, my Father and an ex-coworker of mine socializing is not even remotely natural.

If they were voting in city council it would be. As I've said before, we now vote very rarely once in a blue moon, and leave everything else up to the market.

So you never confront each other about their opinions directly, you just let the market mediate for you.

> Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep the discussion going for a little while, but they quickly degenerate it into ad-hominem attacks (which is impressive because I am a stranger to them) and I give up.

Sounds similar to real life though when serious topics come up...some people aren't interested in their views being challenged, get overly defensive and don't care about what an ad-hominem attack is. You're best either avoiding those kinds of conversations or those kinds of people.

In real life when I engage with one friend about a topic his friend who I don't know doesn't step in and start attacking me.

Really? Pretty sure this is common in group conversations if you talk about divisive topics like politics, nuclear power, GM food, vaccinations etc. I guess with Facebook the group is a lot bigger though.

In real life it is possible to judge the mood of a group and avoid or defuse contentious situations. In addition, such groups are usually transient. Real people, especially friends of friends or other passing acquaintances, don't usually follow you home, and then to work the next day, and the next, constantly telling you why your opinion is wrong.

Online, there is no escape short of opting out entirely.

In all, social media gives a megaphone to strident opinions, and has a chilling effect on everyone else.

Yeah I think the point is that in real life it's easy to have a quiet conversation with your friend without a bunch of other people chiming in.

I haven't quite pinned down why I have this problem on social media but not other discussion sites or the real world. I suspect that social media, or more specifically Facebook is different in some way, and I just haven't been on Facebook long enough to properly learn how to deal with it.

It is also possible that something about Facebook makes it harder to deal with, and I simply have left other platforms that have that problem to that degree, and I just haven't left, hoping that I will get it figured out.

For what it's worth I rarely comment, I like the odd posts and use messenger a fair bit. I'd likely avoid a public comment that could possibly be seen as confrontational as it doesn't seem worth the drama it might cause between friends.

I've been tempted to reply to anti-GM food posts for example but it's very obvious how it would degenerate.

No moderators?