3. 3 laptops, broken when I wasn't even there from a family member or child or pet running by snagging the valve and ripping t out. 2 were just rendered unchargable, the third shattered the screen. I'm far from alone in that, as well. It's rather presimptuous on your part, don't you think?

Those computers are like $3000. Even if it only saves 10% of MacBooks from an untimely end, it's still $300's worth of insurance.

10% is a really high guess. I would suggest less than 1%.