If I had hundreds of people applying to my school I'd have a standard development environment set up for them so they could connect to it remotely, regardless of what brand of laptop they own or which OS they happen to have. That way they could start learning to program -- what they are paying for -- rather than spending a frustrating hour or two trying to install Linux, or in the case of MacOS trying to deal with the versions of Apache and PHP and MySQL Apple installs.
I've been to classes that start with "install Linux" and what happens is the first day is wasted while one or two people struggle getting wi-fi or their mouse to work, or don't have enough disk space, or whatever. It's a waste of my time. That's why public and private schools are adopting Chromebooks.
If you look around you'll see quite a few developers using a Surface Pro these days, since it's lighter than a Mac and can run Windows apps, which is a requirement for a lot of jobs and some schools. Two of my kids must use Windows for their college classes and job. Should they (or I) have to buy a Mac just to go to your school?
If anyone wants to sit next to me for two years learning Linux, PHP, MySQL, HTML, Javascript, etc. I'll teach you all that for less than $50K, and you can live in a fun exotic city that costs 1/5th LA prices. You'll get to work on REAL applications for REAL companies and even learn how to freelance and get customers. I'll even make an (unaccredited) degree for you.
Since back-end web applications run on a server, not on laptops, it makes more sense to work in that environment from the beginning. A web-based IDE like Cloud 9 or CodeAnywhere with the LAMP environment (or whatever) already set up would allow your students to get right to coding, without having to jump through your phony hoops. You are imposing your idea of how "real developers" work based on a small sample of hot VC-funded companies in the valley.
I know lots of serious developers and none of them run real applications on their laptop. Few of them use desktop Linux. Web servers don't run GUI-based operating systems. Forcing everyone to try to get your idea of a programming environment running on their own laptop is just wasting time. It's the same as being forced to install Flash to use a bank or airline web site.
Dismiss "legacy IT departments" all you want but there are 1,000 times more jobs with real companies making money than there are at VC-funded startups in SV. Maybe you don't think those jobs are sexy, but you're teaching people habits and career strategies, not just programming.
I think you are already behind the curve with your Mac/Linux laptop requirement. Google engineers use Chromebooks (so do I). Chromebooks and iPads are the default in many schools. Those devices can be great for learning programming and actually writing code.
Regardless of technical arguments about operating systems or stacks or what venture capital firms fund (you really think they base those decisions on what laptops the developers use?) your "amirite" dismissive tone is off-putting. Good luck with that.