It's a way of teaching helplessness, while inflating your own ego. That grocery store owner wouldn't want help with picking up the heavy box, because he is an able-bodied man. Doing this for him is belittling him, saying he's not an able-bodied man. It's like receiving unrequested advice or assistance on a project.

Having grown up in poverty, been homeless for a summer, walked home past homeless people every day for years, and now a well-paid engineer in a nice city, I understand the questioning rage, wishing there was someone there to ease your burden. But I also recognize that direct charity prevents or delays people from finding a better solution, or even just having the dignity of knowing they've done the best they can for themselves.

In a sea of inequality, there is no peace, only calms between the storms. Making everyone equal is a laudable goal, but a more realistic goal is simply ensuring everyone has a rewarding and fulfilling life, and we still have a long way to go with that one.

There's a whole lot of projection going in your post - you're far too sure of people's guiding motivations based on a throwaway description of a momentary incident, to the point that you're now accusing another poster of weakening people in their community through willingness to lend a hand.

I also recognize that direct charity prevents or delays people from finding a better solution

You may claim that, but don't try to pass your opinion off as some universal truth that you 'recognize' while other people can't.

The solution is to build ways out. Shelters and job programs do help. Direct charity, giving money to beggars, only keeps them begging.

Employ homeless people.

Give a homeless person a break. Maybe just ignore them in their shelter. They must do everything in public, for they rarely have a private space. They can't afford the luxury of choosing which actions others may view.

Learn how communities in your area address the homeless people who live there. Remember that homeless people do still live somewhere. This is not a part of their life they will be proud of, but it's not the end of their life, not a permanent placement.

> direct charity prevents or delays people from finding a better solution

What about something like this instead?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2016/08...

somewhat related, I live un Budapest which is quite full of homeless people.

There is a program by which they distribute a magazine[0], mainly about the homeless life, and in theory with articles written by them.

It's still a begging of sort, so not as good as a proper job, but I've always felt it was much more dignified than panhandling. And from the other side, it gives you the idea that people handing out the newspaper are at least putting in some effort rather than just sitting on the corner (not saying they'd do, just talking fo perception).

[0] http://www.fedelnelkul.hu/news.php

Seattle has a similar newspaper. The newspaper has licensed vendors, who buy the newspapers at a rate around $1 (I think it's $1.15) and sell for $2. The articles are written and edited by and for the homeless community, and cover all sorts of city business and activities from a unique perspective.

http://www.realchangenews.org/

Portugal has Cais, which was in turn inspired by the British magazine The Big Issue: http://www.bigissue.com/

Yeah, lots of places have newspapers for the homeless to sell. Of course, this doesn't work very well because most people are not very interested in actually read it. I frequently just give people money and tell them to keep the paper, because I've never learned anything useful from reading these papers. I already know what it's like to be poor and they don't provide me with any useful or interesting information beyond that. I'm not sure how useful it is to teach people how to sell something nobody actually wants, other than in some vague hope that they'll spin it into a sales job at a later date.

We have that in the UK it's called 'Big Issue' and I often buy one, it's actually worth a read as it covers the politics of things that affect the poorest members of society.

Same in the SF Bay Area. Called the Street Sheet and it's handed out for a dollar generally though you could of course give more.

Well I would never think of refusing a nice comfortable company bus to walk to work through a shitty neighbourhood. That's just insane to me. I think only someone who hadn't lived that reality would do it for some kind of 'experience'. I could be horribly wrong, but I am curious anyway.

I grew up poor/working class and spent a lot of my youth in the nastier parts of Queens and the Bronx in the mid 90s. And I absolutely would!

One reason is that my background gives me a realistic (as opposed to hysterical) view of the suffering and danger in these areas. I'm not deathly afraid to get mugged, and if it happens to me yet again it's not the end of the world. And I can see past the grimy streets and homelessness to the camaraderie and warmth. I chat with random people on the bus and in the shops, and enjoy a simple friendliness which stands in marked contrast to the chilly self-conscious distance which seems to be the norm in the gentrified areas where I usually find myself.

Also, given my upbringing, I need to spend some time in such areas to maintain some feeling of rootedness. The more time I spend in gentrified areas (and I do enjoy the style and amenities!), the more I feel some drive to be surrounded by simpler, less self-conscious people and things. It feels nourishing. And I know it's probably not rational, but what's the harm?

On Nextdoor this week, I saw that people are raising funds to pay for dental surgery for a woman who was mugged while walking in Mission Terrace, San Francisco. And that’s not an especially bad neighborhood.

https://www.youcaring.com/valeriesgoodguys

Are you implying that I'm being flippant about the trauma and suffering caused by muggings? If so, I can see how my comment could be read that way - I wrote too quickly, this was not my intention.