Interesting that you are also a Dvorak user. I originally learned to type on a Dvorak keyboard, and have only ever been able to hunt-and-peck on QWERTY. I imagine that vim's interface might seem like less of an incomprehensible, memory-dependent maze if one's fingers were accustomed to QWERTY. I tried to learn it once, with a little cheat sheet taped to my monitor, but I've never been any good at rote memorization, so I didn't really get anywhere with it and went back to nano.
Now my problem is that using Vim with any layout other than Colemak (read: QWERTY) is awkward.
aoeui ~ qwerty (but on a different row)
(Incidentally, I am _also_ a Dvorak user! How many of us Dvorak-users-with-homegrown-editors are there?)
And yes, I've used Emacs and written elisp to try and do the same - it just wasn't friendly enough for me.