I don't like when people compare mental issues to physical disease because three doctors will all diagnose the same cancer as cancer, not so with e.g. anxiety. (Not to mention the race, class, and gender biases that come into play with diagnosing mental issues).

Beside that, there is some element of choice if the condition exists at the time you decide to make the other person your partner. If you meet someone with cancer and decide they'll be your partner, well, you make that choice and everything that comes with it. This is why I say I can't do it. I tried once, for a long time. If your partner becomes ill at some point after that, well, that's life. And it could just as easily have been you.

But anyway, yes, it's hard no matter what. Illness is bad, and sad, and it makes life hard for everyone.

Cancer is not the best example here. Cancer, like anxiety or depression, is not a single disease, it's cluster of symptoms that can have a multitude of different causes.

You can tell when it's bad enough, like if there are visible tumors, but try to get 3 doctors to correctly diagnose whether a cancer is completely gone after treatment.

On the other hand, I guarantee 3 out of 3 doctors will diagnose my panic disorder as panic disorder.

I have recurrent tonsillitis, clearly a physical disease, yet 3 doctors couldn't figure out the cause.

When it comes to disease things are almost always murky, whether it's "physical" or "mental".

I don't really like it when people don't think mental disease isn't a physical issue.

I think we should allow people to express that living with somebody who has serious problems is very hard.

Sure. I'm curious if he would extrapolate from his experience with mental illness to physical illness. I have a friend with cancer now and it is very very hard work for his partner.