It doesn't matter if the "the percentage of people considering suicide in such group is much higher than in the rest of the population" if that percentage is still small within such a group.
E.g. if 1% kills themselves in the general population, while 2% or even 5% kill themselves in such a group, that's still 95%, an overwhelming majority, that do not.
In which case, what the parent thinks now is not "totally irrelevant" but mostly correct.
>And there is no notion of being brave (or not) once it actually happens to you - there's only despair and suffering. Really, only that. Nothing else, at all.
I've seen people with chronic pain (including long-term fatal cases) that are not just "despair and suffering". Including people who have dreams and follow them (creative work etc) despite the pain.
> I've seen people with chronic pain (including long-term fatal cases) that are not just "despair and suffering". Including people who have dreams and follow them (creative work etc) despite the pain.
Without any kind of pain management? With severe, chronic pain?
Well, what I witnessed may have been outliers, but once you hear a person you care for begging to "please, just make it stop" every time she was able to actually articulate some words instead of screaming in pain... that leaves a mark.
What I'm saying is that there is - possibly very different for different people - a threshold of (pain-intensity times pain-time-length) above which everyone will be considering suicide. That the people you know are below such threshold doesn't mean it's not there. Having seen people way above it I really can't accept people telling me that they'd rather "live with the pain". What they mean is they'd rather live with bearable pain, which is OK; however, there is such a thing as an unbearable pain and I don't believe there is anyone who'd like to live with it.
You seem to conflate chronic pain with "living in total agony", like some terminal patient.
People here are not talking about that. Maybe do some reading about what "chronic pain" means medically? It's not just a single thing like the one you described.
It bothers people around me that I limp though. Oh well.
I gave the example of acute pain because that was more challenging to me than the chronic.
I have those types of issues too. Most of us do once we get old enough.
They don't really bother me. Like yours, I can overcome them. Almost everyone does.
I suspect if either of us had trained all our lives to be, and wanted to be professional runners, it would bother us greatly.
It is merely your opinion that he wouldn't keep going with chronic pain, he has a different opinion.
There's no way for us to verify yours or his claim.
Also, the "(most probably)" part of that sentence in my previous comment is there specifically to show that I'm not making absolute statements...
Scratch that: ~~~No, you (most probably) wouldn't.~~~
EDIT: this post is about severe chronic pain. Think cancer, or a serious toothache which lasts for years. And it's not meant to discuss the specific situation of the parent! I'm talking in general. I also agree that not 100% patients with severe chronic pain will consider suicide, however the percentage of people considering suicide in such group is much higher than in the rest of the population.
You may believe so right now, but that's totally irrelevant: just as you were unable to imagine "how much pain it was possible to feel" before your experience, you are unable to imagine what a serious, chronic pain can do to you.
Chronic pain is a lot like depression: there's no relief, no hope, nothing you can do to ever feel any better. Assuming that you'd be able to do anything - and that doing that would even make you happy - is... well, very improbable, to say the least.
> Anyway the point is, not everyone is afraid of pain and suffering. Especially not to the point that suicide would even be considered.
Sure, it's easy to be brave in the face of the unknown. It's a lot harder to be brave once you see what "chronic pain" really means. And there is no notion of being brave (or not) once it actually happens to you - there's only despair and suffering. Really, only that. Nothing else, at all.
We have a lot of pain management methods at our disposal now and, in many cases, it's possible to reduce the symptoms and make the patient feel "well enough". Without such help, however, it's only a matter of time before (most of) the patient considers suicide - no matter how brave and "suffering accepting" he was before.