I'm fine not working remotely, but the opportunities aren't really abundant in my city. And it doesn't seem all that unrealistic to not want to be shoved into a dusty cubicle making a frameworkless procedural PHP application to replace Excel spreadsheets for a company that sells shady SEO consulting services.

There is nothing stopping you from taking that boring job while continuing to look for a more interesting one. It's not as if you are forbidden from sending CVs and interviewing after you start. Plus, a steady pay check helps extend the burn rate.

I have a job and like it, but I will eventually want to move on and make more money.

It sounds like you have to figure out which one of your variables has to give in addition to your "remote//no-remote" toggle -- not moving, no boring work, no "unethical to my standards" work, and like this.

Agreed