There's a world outside the bay area, even in technology, and it's a lot less expensive.
I'm really sorry to hear it. My wife passed last year of her brain tumour, a medulloblastoma. It had come back a few years after it was first discovered and treated. Getting an initial diagnosis like that changes everything very quickly.
I'm wishing you both all the best, and some times of simple joy together to balance the rest of what you're going through.
We were planning to have kids in the next year or so. Now we're doing fertility preservation in case the chemo makes her infertile. I'm wondering if I can cope as a single dad if things come to that. I have a good paying tech job but everything in the Bay Area is so expensive, especially with kids.