It surprisingly holds together.

[The] academic chairman noted [the] secretary['s] considerable measurements. /

University employee[']s attorney indicated [the] administrative committee. /

Literary agencies particularly fiscal. /

Which Bad Religion album is this off?

It almost seems like something happened and it was some kind of text about administrative work that accidentally slipped in.

I could see this as an introductory voiceover, with a faint guitar riff in the background.

drums come in

rhythm guitar and bass come in

main riff begins

begin song

Good use of "particularily" right there -- #1 on the nonmetal chart.

Motorhead managed to fit the word "parallelogram" into their title song, so I'd say nothing is impossible.

I always thought of Motorhead more in the spectrum of "thrash punk" than metal.

Not that "parallelogram" is a particularly punk word, either.

Nothing's impossible, re: Death Metal Pizza https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3gTBpLHzLY

Turbonegro did it in 1998: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtCvz6-7D7g

Carnivore (Pete Steele's band before Type O Negative) also did it in 1987 (although it's probably not going to be classified as a metal song unless your name is Marcel Duchamp or Tracy Enim): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGDTrWw_APM

Do you folks like coffee?

You could try to sell the songs to System of a Down.

(which may not be particularly metal, but they have an interesting contrast between their sound and their lyrics)

According to this list, "I Ejaculate Fire" by Deathklok is not a very metal song.

As long as you growl them, they could totally be Death lyrics

The lyrics for the first couple of Carcass albums were pulled from medical texts, so I think lyrical content is pretty flexible. But, the nonmetal words almost sound like a very boring BBC program about people in an office in the 19th century; like Eastenders with stuffy accountants. It'd be an interesting challenge.

There's also Die Eier Von Satan by Tool:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPST2nE0KIo

The lyrics are a german recipe on how to make cookies without eggs....

hashish-laced donut holes, but your point still stands.