This is actually one of the symptoms of anxiety -- it makes you over-estimate the consequences of stopping.

You need to choose to take time, push through the initial panic rush that will come from it, then come out the other side.

Can you talk more about this? Do you have any resources on dealing with this? OPs description hits a bit too close to home.

One of the most common frameworks to thinking about anxiety is CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy). Basically there are both things that you’re doing and things that you’re thinking that trap you in a cycle of anxiety.

The symptom tsunamifury talked about is what we call Catastrophizing – that is you over-estimate / over-value negative consequences over positive or neutral ones. It’s not just “If I stop working or slow down, I might not make as much money,” it is instead, “If I even take time to slow down, all my peers will be better than me or I might miss that one opportunity that’s going to make or break my career and then my professional life will be over and I might as well spend my time making software for businesses in the middle of Oklahoma.”

What I’d try and get patients to do is to rationally evaluate the evidence that any or all of these might happen. Is one missed connection really going to make or break your career? Is one failed pitch? Do you know of any founders/devs who failed big and recovered? What makes you think you couldn’t do the same.

If you want to know more, here are some good places to start – mix of websites and articles. (Apologies in advance for the potato quality on some of these links – I’m slowly dragging my field into the 21st century.) I’d also recommend going to see a therapist – even if it’s just for a few sessions. It might be helpful to get an outside viewpoint on your current situation.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cogn... http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/step1.htm http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3263389/ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/anxiety-treatment.aspx

(Source: Me, I'm a psychologist who's done therapy with clients and now makes mobile apps. I tried to make this as HN-oriented as possible)

Thanks! Should I look for a particular type of therapist?

I'm not a medical professional but a fellow sufferer, so you should probably take this all with a grain of salt. It's more than likely you'll see a psychologist who will administer cognitive behavioural therapy; essentially the rational examination of your thinking as described above. Although specific treatment modalities somewhat depend on the nature and severity of your anxiety disorder.

If your anxiety is more 'phobic' in nature (i.e. it spikes when you're exposed to specific stimuli) , a therapist might inter-weave elements of 'gradual exposure therapy' in as well. For instance, if you have severe arachnophobia, you might start off standing on the other side of the room to a large spider in a glass cage. Then you might stand half-way across the room. Then next to the glass. Then touching the glass etc. But CBT is the workhorse of modern psychotherapy, and can be quite effective for anxiety suffers.I'd also suggest steering well clear of any therapists that use psychoanalysis/psychoanalytic theory in their practice. It's arguably a non-falsifiable pseudo-science.

Unless your anxiety is so acute that you can't function on any normal level (like the time I didn't leave my house for about 2-3 weeks), I'd hold off on medication and try your non-chemical options first. To be clear, I'm not one of those people who thinks that 'unnatural drugs are bad maaannnnn', and have in fact been prescribed (and taken) meds at various times. In certain circumstances, for certain people, they are the only option and they can be a god send for some. But in my experience the pharmacological options for anxiety are are pretty poor. There are really only two mainstream choices: anti-depressants like SSRIs/SNRIs, which are rarely effective for anxiety and take 6-8 weeks to have any effect. So you end up on a very long-term course of trial and error.

The other pharmacological option has traditionally been benzodiazapines (valium, kloponin etc.). Again, unless your illness is extremely acute, I very strongly urge you to never go down this path. They're very physically and psychologically addictive in the medium to long-term (sudden withdrawal can even result in in grand-mal seizures), and you will experience 'rebound' anxiety when you stop taking them.

Lastly, although not a cure, a few lifestyle changes can vastly improve your quality of life while you're seeking out profession treatment. The big three are exercise, regular sleep and mindfulness meditation. It's difficult to start at first, but if you can make even 1 or 2 or those a regular habit you will see an improvement in your life.

Anyhow, I really wish you all the best. Anxiety sucks, but fortunately there's a growing number of ways to make it suck less.

I'd like to offer a counterpoint to your views on medication. For those who suffer from acute, short-term anxiety over a specific event, for example an exam or an interview, beta blockers such as propranolol can be really helpful - as I understand it they interrupt the fight-or-flight adrenaline response to stop you working yourself into a panic. They were wonderful for me during exams and graduate interviews, and now I barely ever need them. I still suffer from chronic anxiety, but that acute performance anxiety is not a problem for me anymore.

Wow, I can't believe I forgot beta-blockers... Especially since I have a long running prescription for them. I agree with all you've said and would even go a little further. They're quite safe to take on a regular basis and are especially effective for 'panic' type anxiety reactions (i.e. 'physical' anxiety symptoms). I still remember the first time I took these. That day, I spoke up in a large work meeting with a bunch on unfamiliar people. And for the first time in my life, I was not a shaking, sweaty mess afterwards.

The only very minor risk with them is if you're taking a fairly high daily dose and then suddenly stop. From what I understand this is really only a problem if you have some sort of pre-existing coronary disorder. Also contra-indicated if you have asthma (as it basically does the exact opposite of what those ventolin puffers do).

> For those who suffer from acute, short-term anxiety over a specific event, for example an exam or an interview, beta blockers such as propranolol can be really helpful - as I understand it they interrupt the fight-or-flight adrenaline response to stop you working yourself into a panic.

Thanks for the recommendation. My girlfriend thinks she needs benzodiazepenes for anxiety. The doctors give her just enough to get addicted, then take them away.

Looking around just now, it seems like Clonidine is another anti-adrenaline drug that would be useful for acute anxiety. It's commonly used for smoking withdrawal too.

First, anxietycoach.com helps with the day to day problems if you are suffering from irrational fears and/or panic attacks. This is a common symptom of overwork/anxiety and you can totally overcome it. Its mostly about working on some better habits that are very simple.

Beyond that, I know that for myself, anxiety keeps me from taking a real actual measure of my resources (costs, burn rate, etc) because as I get more anxious I just fill those data points in with a vague thought that its doomed. When I sit down, take an real mathematical measure of the situation, I am able to overcome the internal misconceptions that "i can never stop" or "I'll never escape this."

To put this in perspective, I live in the SFBay where the financial spiral here is terrible. That being said, taking the measure of reality, helps me accept what I can and can't do. Once that is defined, I find myself feeling a lot more confidence in handling even the most dire situation -- because at least I have formed a rational plan.

Thanks!

What's your burn rate? That is, if you stop doing any income-producing activities, how long can you live off of savings? Considering burning through them all for a long period of no work. Or if you think you can manage for longer, try to get to the magic number where 4% of your investments (assuming at least 5% annual ROI) covers your expenses, thus making you 'retired'.

Recovery (at least partial) is still possible, but you might be at the point where the first year of recovery looks like a lot of doing nothing but sleeping: http://jacquesmattheij.com/dealing-with-burn-out

Some years ago (6 or so, from memory) I realised I'd been consulting in a role for too long and gone stale and had lost my creativity (not burned out, but approaching that state). I had just enough money to survive for 6 months so I stopped work, chilled and then started to play with tech again. I returned to consulting after 6 months and everything immediately picked up again.

Years before (11 years ago I think) I left a start-up completely burned out, having just bought an apartment, with no spare money (all my cash went into the purchase). The start-up had run out of salary, I was angry and wasn't in a clear space. I bailed the UK and walked around Morocco for a month on my own (I got very bored of my own company), on the very last of my money. When I returned, very refreshed, I started my consulting career. That break was essential to let myself recover. It surprised me how much the rest of the world hadn't changed in that month, whilst my outlook was totally different (happy, positive and ready for the challenges ahead).

Take 2 weeks off and buy an airplane ticket asap.

It helps to have something to look forward to.

Go to a different country, a change of scenery, new cultures to explore are always a great way to take your mind off the daily grind.

I refined my initial comment a little to not to sound so depressing. I do enjoy my work itself but the pursuit of success is not enjoyable when you don't get any meaningful results - Especially when the whole system feels like it is stacked against you.

I did change countries recently - I'm working remotely but it's definitely not a break.

Hey, I've definitely felt that way before, and know a few friends that spent a good deal of time there. Sometimes you can spend so much time in a paper bag you forget that it's a paper bag you could punch your way out of any time you want. If it's not too personal, how is it that you feel that the system is stacked against you?

This can be good advice for some. It might not be choice for someone with depression. Deeper problems are not solved by a vacation.

This is not a bad suggestion. Sometimes your sanity requires taking a break. We forget the world/company/team doesn't stop without "us". Being in a different environment really helps. I've done a weekend trip to Disney and a longer trip to Hawaii. Both were done with little planning and really helped me out.

Going to throw a visible +1 into the ring here.

The only way over burnout is to put some distance between yourself and work.

Also, it's incredibly hard to self-evaluate your output when you're overworked and stressed. You may think you're making forward progress but you're usually harming the project and yourself more.

If you take some days off: Are you feeling better? Than burning out is your main problem.

If you actually start to feel worse when having time to relax, that hints at different problems like depression or anxiety.

What's the light at the end? What's the train and why is it going to get dark and ugly? I'm not being facetious, I'm wondering if you're feeling the same thing as me.

I had chronic rhinitis, probably linked to air pollution (near Paris). I have done a checkup of my sleep quality. It has shown a slight Sleep apnea disorder. I am taking corticoids (nasal spray) since 2 month. My nose is a lot better, but the main improvement in about my memory and my concentration.

I think memory is very important for programming. I can work a lot faster since I take this treatment.

If you care to share - why would that be?

I've been working on my latest project for about 5 years (before that I spent 5 years on a project which ended in failure) with my latest project, the market has kept changing and I keep pivoting in subtle ways to stay relevant.

I've never raised any funding and I'm competing against really well funded startups so basically every few months, I see some other company implement my idea (ahead of me) and I have to keep refining the idea and narrowing my target market in order to stay competitive.

I managed to find some people to join the project so it's a bit better now but much of the weight is still on me.

I've experience the exact same thing. It becomes a cyclical rut of feeling like you're not making enough progress on a project, then feeling guilty for spending time enjoying other things. Thoughts like "why should I enjoy my sunday morning in the park? I could be working feature x".

My advice isn't for everyone, but I got over the rut by realizing we're not going to be young and healthy forever. The term YOLO has become epitomized with young people making stupid decisions but some of us should really take it to heart.

I read a piece about making life decisions based on a regret minimization framework. Essentially you ask yourself which life you'd regret least when you're 80 and that's what you should do. I asked myself whether I'd regret never launching a successful product more, or never living a fulfilling life with adventure and meaningful relationships.

On a more concrete note, it's important for me to schedule time for exercise and fun. It helps by keeping me productive and my brain healthy, but also you won't have that voice in your head saying "hey, you should really be working on that other feature right now".

Plus minus 2 weeks is not going to kill a 5 year old project. Take a little time, recharge and think about exiting sell / quit ect. You only have one life and burning 10 years for a nominal return is enough.

It's scary to think that with some minor alterations I could have written your previous two posts.

The worst thing is that deep down I enjoy the pressure even though I know it's slowly destroying my life and everything I love. I just seem to take it and turn to stone.

Please make a change and the addiction will wear off. Not easy, but worthwhile.

Sometimes in order to "speed up" (in the sense of a deep, longer-range goal) -- you need to slow down.

So like the others are saying -- I really hope you can take a vacation soon.