I agree, and I've had to learn this the hard way after leaving 4-5 separate gigs that went fine for several months until someone new came on, or until an issue came to a head, etc. As software engineers, we have a lot of mobility and it's almost too easy to throw in the towel and move on; in any career, there are going to be conflicts, and you have to learn to confront and neutralize them in a positive way that doesn't involve the departure of yourself or the person with whom you're conflicting. "I'll quit" is too often the go-to and can stifle the development of individual professional conflict resolution skills. That option should stay off the table practically up until the point of complete collapse.
>Sure, that looks excellent on paper, but I have found that it doesn't work with actual humans who are actually very _human_ with all of the associated (incl. negative) traits that humans have in varying amounts including pride, pettiness, jealousy, egotism and others.
Right on again. This is another thing that I had to learn in the crucible after years of reading idealistic navel-gazing in trade outlets and message boards. There was a time I believed that while it required being highly selective, you could get a team together that would hold these values and function without pettiness. I now believe that's not really possible long-term and we must accept the petty and political nature of man as a fact of life (and we should be aware of this nature within ourselves as well, instead of naively claiming that we are above all of it; only regular rigorous self-analysis can reveal the influence of these natural tendencies). Not only is that political nature a fact of life, but it is exacerbated and brought to the forefront by the economic structure and corporate culture that we've developed in the West (which is not to say those things are necessarily bad).
I'd really like to see more content about coping with the reality of what we have in the real world, instead of the fantastic idealistic drivel that makes some tech writers popular.
Yes, the dictionary term is related to armed conflict and it clearly wasn't in that sense.
> Wow. Much of your comment reads like this to me - "This what a good team looks like, if you aren't on one, find another team or quit your job"
You could also interpret it as 'this is what a good team should look like, try to steer your team in this direction or alternatively, build your own'.
Leaving is a last option, but it is much better for your health in the longer term if you are happy at what you do and being part of teams that approach their work in the manner described is a great recipe for either a burn out or other serious problems.
See the advice I gave another poster elsewhere in this thread.
Sorry but that is terrible advice. Most people would be out of a job with that kind of attitude.
>But leave the war and associated terminology and attitude out of it.
Nobody brought it in in the first place. The terminology was in quotes, to explicitly indicate that its not used in the dictionary meaning of the term.
> A good team member knows how to make their objections heard without engaging in confrontational tactics and will be able to present their reasoning in non-confrontational fact driven terms. And is able to accept that they do not always get what they want.
Sure, that looks excellent on paper, but I have found that it doesn't work with actual humans who are actually very _human_ with all of the associated (incl. negative) traits that humans have in varying amounts including pride, pettiness, jealousy, egotism and others. It has very hard to pickup on those because not everyone will display these traits overtly. They will mask it under other rationalizations or explanations or "objective arguments", or what have you. Many people are just sensitive like that. You can try telling them that their work needs fixing in the most gentle, objective way possible, but all they will hear is "XYZ thinks I suck".
>If that happens too frequently then maybe ask to be transfered to another team or maybe leave for another company.
Wow. Much of your comment reads like this to me - "This what a good team looks like, if you aren't on one, find another team or quit your job"