If you own such an author, please keep him muzzled and leashed, and scoop up those puns.

I have a patch for the article:

  @@ -1234,5 +1234,7 @@
   Larson, who is fast-talking, eminently likable,
  +playful, loyal, up-to-date with all his shots,
  +certified free of fleas and ticks,
   and grounded in both archaeology and genetics,
  -has been gathering fossils and collaborators
  +has been retrieving fossils and collaborators
   in an attempt to yank the DNA out of as many dog
   and wolf fossils as he can.