I've worked both on code where writing the tests was more effort than the code, and on code where writing the tests was easy, quick and helpful. The latter makes sense, after all a good test is straightline code, zero ifs, zero loops. But the former?
I think the key is that mocking should be used sparingly, but without hesitation.
http://googletesting.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/just-say-no-to-m...
The dirty little secret that nobody talks about is the cause of the ghosts: poorly engineered tests.
That's usually a sign that they've been engineered poorly or you have bugs in your code.
System level integration tests need appropriate environmental isolation and solid asynchronous & multithreaded code. Nobody can be bothered to write these properly for tests, hence the flakiness ("ooh let's just insert a sleep here" / "eh, does it really matter which version of postgres we run?").
Unit tests are also pretty quick to write once you have the mocking setup.