(Common) Lisp has functions, arguably the best object system that exists (ask OMG group if you don't believe me), has facilities for functional programming and has a proper compilation-level programming facility (aka. macros) which lets you seamlessly add any other thing as if it was already there.

You want to have a switch instruction? A quick macro, done. You want to have a Prolog-level pattern matching? A few macros, done (or use optima library). Want Perl-like convenient string manglings with regexps? A few reader macros + CL-PPCRE (arguably the fastests implementation of Perl-compatible regexes in existence) and again, you're done.

I think you're seriously projecting the limits of more constrained languages onto Lisp.