It's one of those things that has a kernel of truth surrounded by an offensive and exaggerated wrapper, and which people love to use as a bludgeon to say that you're denying reality if you try to argue against it.

Yes, you recruit and retain the significant other... too. The engineer (who may have a husband or a boyfriend!) actually does have a significant say as well. They both count.

Stuff like "The paycheck goes to HER" is bullshit and demeans both the engineer and the significant other.

If you ignore all the crazy shit, then yes, what's left is true.