Just a useful trick, you can have the best of both worlds if you respond with "well, it depends", play up a dramatic pause, and follow with "on one hand..." and finish with a counter-point. It seems to result in a less argumentative response when people disagree as well.

(impending anecdote) - this is something I noticed when I lived in the south for a while. More people tended to think before they spoke which would result in cleaner, less runny conversations compared to the typical word diarrhea I was accustomed to sifting through growing up in the Northwest. It was actually quite nice to deal with after a short adjustment period for me to discard my knee jerk reaction of assuming the heat fried everyone's brains.

> IOW, I pause a beat to collect my thoughts. People tend to think this too is a sign of "stupid".

A lot of tribes in the US have members that exhibit this same behavior. A respectful pause to consider a response and a slow cadence should be a sign they have considered their words, but instead is portrayed as stupid. It made going to DC and dealing with bureaucrats in the 90's a pain in the butt.

>IOW, I pause a beat to collect my thoughts. People tend to think this too is a sign of "stupid". Really, it's just I don't like to be wrong. I'd rather be slow up front and be right, than fast up front and be wrong.

I'm really glad to hear that I'm not alone with this struggle. Still don't have a good answer for it though. :(

Just give it a bit longer... :-P

If it's any consolation, I wish I could pick up that behaviour. Might have saved me a fair bit of unpleasantness.