With couchsurfing, i've tried both hosting and surfing. Hosting felt like I was managing a free hotel - the guests seemed to have little interest in hanging out or socializing at all. They just stuck to each other. Maybe my mistake was allowing couples instead of individual travellers. I never got a chance to surf, all requests were denied, I get the sense that you basically have to be female and traveling without a partner to succeed in surfing. Context: 29 yr old asian american male, no deformities or anything like that.
With AirBnB, most of the time, it was just a business relationship, but I did form a few friendships which lasted a while.
Of course, anecdotes are not proof - I think it really shows that it is more the luck of the draw than anything else.
As another example, clubs and classes are a great place to make friends because you already have a common interest. You can become friends with the instructor/leader no matter what the monetary arrangements are. Whether there are dues or class fees, if the instructor gets paid a token or reasonable amount. Of course, the more of a profession it is for the instructor, the more likely they are to be spread thin across classes and students. But again, that's not the money per se.
For better or worse, once I got into my mid-30s, I started wondering about dollar signs in people's intentions in general, unless I met them in the context of a hobby.
I think it would be cool to have this kind of thing: AirBnB for Friends, but I don't think my need was a 'personal void' to be filled, just a function of being a social person with a socially unconducive job.
It may be a personal void for many (perhaps most), but shouldn't have to be.
[Edit:] Also, "wondering about dollar signs in people's intentions", yeah, same, but another reason that a specific transaction wouldn't be a bad thing.
A service to find someone to hang out with and show you around while traveling would end up becoming "Uber for Escorts" or some kind of Uber-Tinder hybrid.
For example Adult Friend Finder was started to actually find friends:
>In 1994, Andrew Conru created the first online dating site, WebPersonals. After selling that site in 1995, he launched FriendFinder.com, an early social networking site intended to help people connect with likeminded activity partners, in 1996.[3] Days after the site went live, Conru found that people were posting naked pictures of themselves and seeking partners for adult-oriented activities.
Overall I agree that it is self-defeating to directly pay for a friend. But you can find friends everywhere, even (indirectly) at the opposite end of business transactions.
couchsurfing is marketed as "a great way to meet locals", as a way to find new friends, so people who list their places on it are more likely to be interested in making friends with their stayers.
airbnb is mostly positioned as a "turn your home into a hotel" website, so many airbnb hosts operate it like a business and are not necessarily looking to make friends with the clients.
The places that I used couchsurfing are the most memorable. I travelled for a whole year in 09-10 and the 5 times that we used couchsurfing to stay at someone's place was incredible and I'm still in contact with 2/5 of those stays. 40% hit rate I guess. Back then Airbnb wasn't a thing (or wasn't a big thing, can't think at the top of my head when they started) so it was either hostels or couchsurfing. You get different flavours of travel between those two. You meet more travellers in hostels which is a very different trip and experience vs staying with a local and hanging with them. It's interesting to see the perspective change between just the accommodation choice.
This year I travelled for 3 months and since I was working remotely I wanted to make sure I was productive and had my own space to think and do work with good wifi. So that meant NO hostels really. Horrible wifi in them, they're loud and usually dorms meant not a lot of me space. When looking at private hostels compared to Airbnb rentals the price wasn't that much more for a full studio in most cities so I stayed only 3 nights in hostels the whole trip.
Airbnb is great for feeling at home (full kitchen, couches, etc) and having everything you need to be productive and I made sure the wifi was great in each place before booking. But when grabbing the whole place I never interacted with my hosts since they weren't there. I never did stay in a private room so I can't comment on that experience and getting to meet the hosts that way which would probably feel more couchsurfing like.
But I did a hybrid take on my travels. I stayed in Airbnb places but would reach out to couchsurfers to meet up. And the response was so much better when you don't need accommodation since a lot of hosts just get bombarded with automated messages begging for 'free' places to stay. It helped me meet a lot of individuals in every city we stayed and it was the same great feeling when I stayed at people's places on the last trip.
The hybrid approach was pretty awesome and made me not feel lonely since the couchsurfers were a great source of information on what to do and explore and much of the time they did those activities with me.
I am still in contact with many of those couchsurfers from this past trip as well. I've hosted in my place and found that hosting helped connect also. I've never rented out on Airbnb so I can't comment on the other side of that.
i agree with the comment noting expectations, and also want to emphasise that i have spent lots of time with either type of houseguest
but what i have found interesting is it is easier to fall into spending time when the money exchanging hands is roughly the amount i would want to pay for the service
for instance, on airb.. i have set my price on the room i offer both under, on, and over what i myself would want to pay for the room
when i charge less than what i would pay for my space i can get guests that i feel are rude or disrespectful to me, my home, andor my neighbors
if i charge more than i would want to pay for the space, i can get people who have high expectations: arguably, fair expectations on what they get for the price; or are just absent because someone else paid the bill and they are there to work
when i charge a rate that i think would be fair if i were to be paying for the space i find i spend more time with the people
the worst part is when you enjoy the time you spend with people you know are going back home across the country or globe
You might be right that money plays a part, but it is far from the only variable in play.
In my experience, money calls into question the sincerity and authenticity of both the person paying, and the person being paid. Authenticity being "are they being themselves?", and sincerity being "do they want you to know themselves?" and vica versa.
Is a person being friendly because they like me or because they are counting the dollar signs in their head? Do they really want to get to know me or are they simply being polite, i.e. applying social lubricant?
I don’t have a single host from my AirBnB stays that I remember fondly, if at all. I have several Couch-surfers who I miss dearly and who message me from time to time on Facebook.
I feel that it’s possible to make real friends with people you start with on a “business level”, but until that “business” gets removed, the relationship is just a thin veneer over what is essentially a transaction.