Except for the fact that you do have some control over the perceptions of others. It's actually a pretty large part of the human operating system: taking a best guess as to how the community of people important to your own survival might perceive your choices and behaviors. It's no longer as important for immediate survival, but for social status (still an important Darwinan consideration), it's an imperative skill.

Nope. First, you said "guess" which is anathema to control. Second, you like to think you have some control but you don't. You don't have control over your own body and you want to tell me that you have control over other people's perception?

Before you tell me that you have control of your body: Make your heartbeat exactly 137 times a minute right now and record it. You don't control you body...

Now, skill in the attempted manipulation of perception is something... but it is hardly a done deal. That is, one can try to manipulate perception but the manipulation is not guaranteed. In many cases, the attempted manipulation will have the opposite effect. See pick-up lines as an example.

I know that I can't control other people's perception. You may or may not come to the same realization some day....

You do not have zero control over the perception others have of you. Our culture is not so heterogeneous that you can't predict what the majority will think of a given outfit you might wear, for example.

Granted, the control is indirect: You have zero control over what people would think of you if you were to wear corduroys and a Hawaiian shirt, but you can control if you wear corduroys and a Hawaiian shirt.

Indirect control is the same as no control. If I try to project what others may think, I am attempting to trick myself into thinking I have control of the situation. I don't. My emotional response to "what others think" is something I can control. Therefore, I chose not to emotionally attach "what others think" to my thoughts to the best of my ability.

I can only control my thoughts and the actions borne from those thoughts.

> Indirect control is the same as no control.

I couldn't disagree more

> I can only control my thoughts and the actions borne from those thoughts.

This part I completely agree with. If one doesn't at least try to attempt to work out the consequences of the actions borne from those thoughts, then one is being irresponsible.

If you walk into a bar, pick the largest drunk man in there and call his mother a whore, then there's a decent chance you will get punched. You did not punch yourself in the face, but to pretend that you had no control over this consequence is ridiculous.

The truth is somewhere in between - it's a good principle to teach your kids that they shouldn't only care about what people think of them, as you say. At the same tiem, if you had absolutely no chance of influencing other people with what you wear, there'd be no dressing to impress, dressing down, costume parties, etc.

Read; Marcus Aurelius ~ Meditations

There is a ton of value in Stoic philosophy that has been lost in modern society. The same modern society that worships "looks", "Celebrity", and countless other craptacular "things" that haven't materially changed the human condition for the better.