It's not that they don't want to, it's that they can't. They may be 3000 miles away, or they may have just got a cancer diagnosis, or their knowhow of math may not be up to snuff for your problems, or they don't approve of your habits and are doing it for your own good. But yeah, you hit a wall where the only person that can help you is in the mirror. That choice, to live your life, that's a big turning point.

OP didn't say that it actually had to happen, just that you had to realize it was possible. Many people will not have to experience something drastic like OP seems to have in order to realize it, but some people don't until that point.

There is a big difference between helping someone and taking responsibility for something. If walk over to help my neighbor take his lawn, he is still in charge of the lawn.