A bad citizen in C counts to 32768 which corrupts the very fabric of the universe, replacing New York with half of Los Angeles and leaving 25 people repeating the same day indefinitely.

That sounds like a plot of a typical superhero comicbook. I guess we know what language Marvel's universes are written in.

Every time a character swears they speak in Perl.

But the universe is certainly written in Brainfuck.

Still better to correct this mistake than to think about the intricacies of the java abstractions.