Re:Ask HN: How to form deep friendships later in life?
by plusquamperfekt on Tuesday November 17, 2015 @07:02AM
(#10580511)
> First they'll always have to be your colleagues
Not after you or they left the job.
> second they're probably the same kind of people as you
The diversity is huge already within departments and limitless across.
> Completely agree with that. And as I said in another comment, looking for friends is kind of looking for a girlfriend.
Actually ... it's not at all like that. At least my dating behaviour is for good reasons very different from dealing with guys.
>> Couchsurfing > That's actually a good idea, they regularly meet up.
I have plenty of CS experience and from what I can say - you meet plenty of awesome people through CS - but the relationship-dynamics are exceptionally casual and noncommittal.
>> There's a much higher chance of liking a friend-of-a-friend rather than a random stranger. > Same for dating
Actually - even though this statement seems plausible - I highly doubt it is correct in practice and it isn't as far as I am concerned. It seems rather that people tend to trust more easily and deal more openly with friends of friends.
> If you meet a person and she's not the right one, don't discard her,
To think of "discarding" in that context is stupid in the first place. You can and should discard aholes - anybody else it's just a very dynamic process of distance and closeness which comes to a natural halt at some point.
> The idea can be generalized as: people are not always the perfect fit, but you can still hang out with them and meet some cool people in the process.
Fairly egocentric way of dealing with people - I suppose it's possible to enjoy time with people for what they are without aiming at capitalizing on their relations.
Not after you or they left the job.
> second they're probably the same kind of people as you
The diversity is huge already within departments and limitless across.
> Completely agree with that. And as I said in another comment, looking for friends is kind of looking for a girlfriend.
Actually ... it's not at all like that. At least my dating behaviour is for good reasons very different from dealing with guys.
>> Couchsurfing > That's actually a good idea, they regularly meet up.
I have plenty of CS experience and from what I can say - you meet plenty of awesome people through CS - but the relationship-dynamics are exceptionally casual and noncommittal.
>> There's a much higher chance of liking a friend-of-a-friend rather than a random stranger. > Same for dating
Actually - even though this statement seems plausible - I highly doubt it is correct in practice and it isn't as far as I am concerned. It seems rather that people tend to trust more easily and deal more openly with friends of friends.
> If you meet a person and she's not the right one, don't discard her,
To think of "discarding" in that context is stupid in the first place. You can and should discard aholes - anybody else it's just a very dynamic process of distance and closeness which comes to a natural halt at some point.
> The idea can be generalized as: people are not always the perfect fit, but you can still hang out with them and meet some cool people in the process.
Fairly egocentric way of dealing with people - I suppose it's possible to enjoy time with people for what they are without aiming at capitalizing on their relations.