The other replies have summed up what I meant well, but I will add that a crucial component of a cynical Apple announcement day post is to preface it with a list of the number of Apple products one has bought in order to establish oneself as an unbiased authority on Apple products.

Look back at every single Apple announcement and you'll realize Apple just takes tech that's already out in the marketplace and refines it. They never do what you expected them to do today, and never will.