turnleavesover

Being direct has not really worked in my experience, and someone even told me that opening with a request for a referral is like asking for sex on the first date.

I'd like to advance my career, but not at the risk of being ingenuine to people. I'm unable to form long-term bonds with other professionals, though. I view colleagues from a more utilitarian point of view, only there to help us carry out the work, that serves a practical need for me, but not necessary for my personal company.

With the suggestions you made, I think there's a misunderstanding. I am not seeking to be exceptional. I am a below-average programmer that just seeks to become average and is fine being average in my career. The average person does not go to Toastmasters, and the average programmer does have to contribute to a major Github project. There are a lot of developers 40 and over that are pretty average and working steady jobs, and they don't do any "extra-professional" work for themselves.

My career goal: to be an average developer without a care in the world. No Toastmasters, no being a leader, no tech evangelism, just want job security and clock out in a timely manner every day.