Remote: Yes (remote only, US; async-friendly)
Willing to relocate: Yes, but high bar
Technologies: C, C++, Rust, TypeScript/JavaScript (Node, browser, Workers), Python, C#/.NET, SQL (Postgres/MSSQL), AWS, audio/DSP (formant + FM synthesis, AudioWorklet, embedded realtime), WebAssembly, x86/ARM assembly, MCP servers and agentic dev tooling
Résumé/CV: https://crashunited.com/resume.pdf
Email: [email protected]
Senior generalist, 18 years. Been doing a lot of FOSS work lately; 62 PRs merged upstream this year, into ScummVM, 86Box, chocolate-doom, dsda-doom, woof, DOSBox-X, dosbox-staging, DOSBox Pure, SillyTavern, CHIRP, cross-rs, DefinitelyTyped, and nodejs/node. Literally none of my PRs have been rejected by maintainer in the past year.
Recent public work:
- klattsch (github.com/tgies/klattsch): singing parallel-formant speech synthesizer I wrote from scratch based on papers from 1980. Went viral in May (8M+ impressions, X trending, etc). Now a paid desktop/Android app on itch.io and Google Play, a built-in chip in the Furnace tracker, and in Mikoto Studio, a commercial Vocaloid-like vocal synth studio. Ported the core speech synth engine to TS, C++, Rust, and C#.
- Nuked-OPL3-fast: Optimization fork of the industry-standard OPL3 emulator, adopted upstream by ScummVM, dosbox-staging, DOSBox-X, DOSBox Pure, chocolate-doom, Even runs realtime at full fidelity on one RP2350 core.
- copy-fail-c: Cross-platform PoC for CVE-2026-31431, the #2 most-starred PoC for the CVE on GitHub (444 stars).
- client-certificate-auth: Node mTLS middleware, maintained 13 years, recommended in AWS's API Gateway docs, used in BAE Systems products.
- GPG Guide 2026: 376-page guide to modern GnuPG, YubiKey, and OpenPGP v6, self-published solo, with a bespoke typesetting and publishing toolchain and a harness that verifies every command in the book.
Previously: 11 years at a .NET CRM vendor (C#, MSSQL, sole AWS keyholder, built and ran the serverless ETL platform), then a year rescuing an embedded livestock-sorting system (Python/ARM/Postgres/Laravel) into its first working field deployment.
Looking for: contract / fractional / fixed-scope work through my consultancy, Crash United LLC, or senior IC roles. Deep daily agentic-tooling practice incl. a bunch of custom MCP servers I wrote.
https://github.com/tgies/copy-fail-c
This is a C port of Theori/Xint's Copy Fail PoC (https://copy.fail/, 2026-04-29). The original depended on Python and embedded x86_64 shellcode. I managed to reimplement the shellcode as portable C using nolibc borrowed from the kernel, and now the whole thing can be compiled for & works on any arch supported by nolibc.
https://github.com/tgies/megahal-sql
I ported Jason Hutchens' 1998 Loebner Prize-winning chatbot, MegaHAL, to run entirely inside PostgreSQL, in pure SQL. The entire lifecycle -- tokenization, learning, keyword extraction, Markov chain generation, and entropy scoring -- is implemented in standard SQL using complex CTEs. There is no PL/pgSQL or any other sort of procedural escape hatch.Learning is a single ~560-line SQL statement...
Most GPG documentation I could find was outdated -- O'Reilly 1995, No Starch 2006, countless websites from the mid 00s -- or scattered across dozens of blog posts that each covered one piece. I wanted a single reference that covered the full workflow with current tools and practices, so I had been keeping a bunch of text files in my homedir for a while. Recently I realized it was getting close...