Wonderful read. Your story could be mine. I completely understand all the things you’re saying. I know what it feels like to have two small kids, a job, a mortgage, having to get up at night to feed a baby and dreaming of having your own succesful business. I have been developing my own sites for the last decade, without ever being really succesful (in terms of money). I’ve been working at my own computer from eight in the evening until I can’t keep my eyes open. Almost every night, and many saturdays and sundays. Sometimes in the middle of the night, when I can’t sleep (which happenes quite often :-).
Even though the lack of succes is at times wildly dissapointing, especially when seeing friends having good academic careers (a path I could have chosen), and even though I feel tired at almost any moment of any day, I’m not complaining. Not once. I cannot help but go on with the next application, and the next and the next. It’s my dream, and one day I will succeed.
I currently have two things in the pipeline, for which I have the same high hopes again - even though the odds are against me :-)
I hope you do well. Instead of just talking about the things you could do (like many people), you act. And you work long days. You deserve your succes, and I hope you will have your deserved succes one day, hopefully just as me.
Ah, and perhaps most importantly: I found your post to be very motivational. Keep it up!