kirstendirksen

Every time I post a story with a prefab ADU company the pricing is usually the same -- starting around 120K for a unit with kitchen/bath etc-- and the comments are equally similar: "too expensive". I remember Jay Shafer (tiny house pioneer from late '90s on) talking about how tiny houses aren't tiny priced because you still have to build a bathroom, kitchen, electric, etc. Still hoping someone can figure out a solution to make a truly tiny-priced tiny house.

My husband would agree with you that happiness doesn't need to always be the end goal. I must have been raised with a Disney reality. Though I've realized I do need the sad; it's what helps me to think in a more complete way.

What freedom to feel you could pack up and move in an afternoon. I love the idea of knowing that is possible, even if it never happens.

Funny how so much of what we have is "just in case": not just space in our cars, but extra clothes, extra linens, extra plates...

The photos of your apartment are great. It looks amazing, not at all like someone trying to "opt out", but something out of a style mag. Though I shouldn't be so surprised as simplicity is an important element to good style, or what I see as that.

I would make a similar comment to you as I made above to MrFoof. Maybe because it fits with what feels right for me, but I like your 6-month-rule and your question for every object.

In many ways I think when we get too much stuff the same thing happens that happens to kids when they have too many toys. They seem to lose interest in all of them. So we put most of them away in drawers and pull them out a few at a time. It's as if without all the clutter of lots of toys around our daughter enjoys herself, and the few toys, much more.

I would also repeat my comment to MrFoof that if you're interested in contributing to my documentary, I'd love to see some visuals of your de-cluttered lifestyle.

I would agree with you that to a certain extent people crave roles that can give them an identity, like that of treehugger or entrepreneur. But I also think there are people who genuinely happy with either one: like many of the people posting comments here, I think genuinely want to start companies because they enjoy the thrill of starting something, not just to be an entrepreneur or company president.

The same goes for those who choose to embrace a more simplified lifestyle or whatever related to sustainability.

Any interest in talking more about your downsizing experience and/or videotaping your "stuff"?

This response feels poetic to me. Well, that and it made me laugh the way you describe using it as an excuse to break off with your girlfriend.

But there's something that feels so right about living according to a principle seeking things of usefulness or beauty. And I'm very impressed that it truly seems you live this way.

I'd agree I used to shop more to have spare shirts, but now my spare shirts sit unworn and I simply wear the same few shirts over and over so I don't see the point in having the spares.

I can imagine it's much more satisfying enjoying, or watching someone or something, enjoy something you've made than something you've bought.

I'm curious how your venture beyond a cat treehouse goes. Would love to hear/see more about your experience making your own furniture.

Funny about the lattes. I am probably complicit in that criticism, but maybe because I'm usually happier spending my $100/month (depending on how many you buy) making my own tea/coffee and spending that same amount renting movies on itunes.

But to the real point, I think you- and Sethi- are onto something with it being more about figuring out what really makes you happy. If, it turns out, that what makes you happy are big houses and expensive cars or planes (I have an uncle who truly seems happy with all 14 airplanes he owns.. though he's an ex-commercial pilot who usually finds old planes he refurbishes and doesn't mind if they crash land in corn fields.. I witnessed that one) then I can't criticize that.

But I wonder if the majority of us really are happier with more and would be just as happy realizing that "enough is enough" and focusing on things that really make us happy.

One more point, I'm not out to say that there is only one route to happiness- and that it is an anti-consumeristic one-, but simply that it is possible- and possibly more common these days (given circumstances)- to choose this path.

This is simply a bit of counterbalance to so much television that sells the opposite stance. I know that on some of the tv shows I've worked on, I've been complicit in spreading this idea that stuff is cool. So perhaps this is my more personal response.

Wow. I hate to think I am just looking for affirmations. Maybe you're partly right since making a documentary (or just a long-format video or print project) involves taking an angle. I think I chose my angle simply because we do have a website focused on "sustainability" (though this a complicated term and doesn't mean we just fall in step with whatever "green" issues are popular.)

Over the past few years we've simply begun to hear more and more people talk about how the lifestyle they've chosen- often for environmental reasons, but other times not- is something that has made them happier. Maybe happier because they're freer from debt or from clutter or because they've learned new skills that made them feel more connected.

Happiness is an overly simple word for a very complex idea, but it's the best we've got to describe both our search for both short- and long-term comfort and satisfaction.

I'm curious. Why such a violent reaction to the post? We can avoid the word happiness, but what is it you strive for in life, both short and long-term? What do you like?

I enjoyed your blog. Though I'm curious about one of your final comments: "To be clear, I still want a bank-vault sized pile of money but I have accurately recognized why I want it. I don’t really care about a big house and a fancy car. I might someday; I don’t right now. My cramped apartment is sufficient. What I really want is the financial freedom to sit in a quiet room by myself and explore my ideas".

Do you really think you need the money for that freedom? Don't you think if you work at what you enjoy than you can find enough money to pay for your "cramped apartment"? It doesn't sound like you're averse to working, and I'm guessing there is some work that you'd enjoy that would pay for your basic expenses.

I say this because I had a similar idea as you while in college (and I also had read Rand and loved the Fountainhead). So I studied economics and thought I'd do some business thing for awhile to make enough money to be free to do whatever I wanted to do. But then as I saw the jobs that were open to me, I realized I didn't really want any of them. And then as I began to explore careers, I began to talk to more people who chose to work for money and never really got away from that (and some of these people were getting ready to retire) and I realized my plan could be dangerous.

I started thinking about how short life was and decided to just go for something that interested me. So I decided to find a career where I could interview people. I tried to get a magazine internship, but couldn't find anything. Then someone told me about a television internship open at the local NBC affiliate. I applied and spent the next 7 years at that station (after working for 8 months for free, living at home and doing odd jobs on the side).

Maybe I just got lucky, but I am relieved that I didn't stick with my initial plan to make tons of money and then do what I wanted. Now I love what I do and for awhile, made some good money at it. Though I've since voluntarily downshifted to live in Spain with someone I love and be at home more with my young daughters.

Travel is another point I've pondered a lot since I started our website. I used to fly a lot. In most aspects of my life, I can be a pennypincher, but it was the one area that I felt like the experience was worth whatever pricetag. Then I started reading about the carbon emissions of flying (and the emissions of kerosene jet fuel) and I started re-evaluating. So I started to pick my trips more carefully and to try to fly less and stay longer if I could.

While at first it was an environmental consideration, now I'm realizing I'm actually happier without all the moving around. My husband calls it my family's "pack-and-go" mentality. I'm not saying everyone would be happier this way- as I definitely had my share of years exploring the world/my country a bit-, but for now, I like staying in one place a bit more. And the curious thing is, I doubt I would have discovered that if I hadn't thought about carbon footprint stuff. I mean, the "pack-and-go" mentality is a part of my family culture: I live in Spain, my sister lives in Sydney, another sibling lives in the South, another in Seattle, my parents in San Francisco, another is married to a Canadian... it's tough to avoid, but possible to cut down a bit I suppose.

And now that my income is drastically reduced from what it used to be, flying really isn't an option like it used to be either. So I am grateful that I don't feel the need to move about like I used to. Though, that's not to say, I don't fly. I live abroad so every year we take one trip home. And that in itself is more than the majority of people. So all I can say is I've reduced my moving about, just a bit, and am happier for it. For now.

I wonder how many of us find clutter exhausting. My husband can't even start his day with too much stuff around the house (on the floor, hanging off chairs... that would be my contribution), but I am able to overlook it a bit more. Though since living with him, I have realized that even I would prefer to live without clutter.

Though somehow so many people can't seem to be able to hop off the stuff treadmill: buying, collecting, storing (I'm amazed at the self storage business in the U.S.) and trashing. I am not saying I'm always immune either. I think partly it's being aware of stuff collection as a problem (even just for your own sanity).

I like that term being "in flow". I used to hear the term being "in the zone" when I played tennis as a kid. One coach told me I needed to "be the ball" (I'm guessing this is variation on some Buddhist all is one motif). Though I never achieved that state as I never really liked tennis. I wonder if one type of happiness is finding that activity you enjoy enough so be able- eventually- to be "in flow" or "in the zone".