frustrated_phd

The author is CEO of Ezetap[1] which appears to be a fintech startup in India.

The last few paragraphs really seem speculative. How are fintech startups like Simple and others are doing?

[1] http://site.ezetap.com/

Thanks!

I am currently thinking of taking a break and come back to the program with a fresh perspective. I have faith in future me, I just need to find him ;)

I am confident that my profile is employable. However, in terms of current status in the PhD program, I am about to finish my first year in the PhD program. I think as compared to other PhD students, I am a bit hesitant to put myself in the top bracket. On the other hand, I would put myself at par with other professional/graduate Masters student.

> Can you apply for a STEM extension now?

Unfortunately, I can not. I spoke with our international student advisor and it appears that I cannot get STEM extension. I need to be in post-OPT phase to get a STEM extension which I forfeited when I joined the PhD program. I can only get another post-completion OPT after I complete the PhD program.

I can get a pre-completion OPT, but as I quoted in another comment that is a limited option.

As each day passes by I am trying to digest the reality that I have to complete the PhD program. I am trying, but TBH I don't know how much I can force myself to do it. I am scared of my future, and I can't find a way out of this mess :'(

I have used up my previous F1-OPT (post completion) to do be a research assistant with my current advisor. I could do a pre-completion OPT but as per the website you linked me to:

"If the student chooses to engage in pre-completion OPT, he or she may not work more than 20 hours per week while school is in session, but may work full-time during his or her annual vacation and other times when the school is not in session."

So I can't go on doing a job on pre-completion OPT forever.

I am aware of the "imposter syndrome" and other vagaries of academic life. I seek advice from colleagues, speak freely to my advisor and I am honest about how I feel about my current situation.

This is going on for about a year now, and I am afraid that one day I will just break down and give it all up. I understand what you're saying and to an extent it helps to know others have gone through similar situations. I am just looking for options and possibilities in case I give up the PhD program.

I asked to a few friends in India and I am under the impression that it will be very much difficult if not impossible to earn required money. From whatever little understanding I have of Indian companies - it seems like startups tend to give you more equity while big companies give you long-term shares. None of them are useful for me as I need to make loan payments every month over $1.2k (=~ INR 70k).

Moreover, if I include living expenses, taxes, etc. it becomes nearly impossible to get this much high paying job in India (I might be wrong - been over 3 years since I was in India). Student loans really make you think twice before taking any risks in life.

It was more of a _I give up_ kind of comment. The 5 years of the program will certainly define me to a large extent, if not completely.

I guess this is it then... the end :'(