creep

>maybe you should actually listen to all of the women who have had to deal with manspreading.

I am a woman.

If a man is taking up too much space and I want to sit next to him, I ask him to move over. Never had a single issue.

When my teen years grew tough for my single mom to handle she often accused me of being possessed. She was very emotionally unstable, so when things got rough for either of us, things went to utter shit. Her last resort was to carry around her bible and ask God to bless every corner of the home.

Later, one of my first boyfriends said something similar-- except I was now the demon. At one point he said I was "the demon at the center of the universe, which spawned all other demons". Of course this all occurred when we were fighting.

Anyways, my point is that I think you're correct. It's a last-resort coping mechanism. Very harmful. I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I'm actually human or some kind of universal mistake.

I don't know about you, but if I was with my partner " in a laboratory setting " I would certainly be on my best behavior.

>an example of male privilege.

Everyone has privileges in life and everyone has disadvantages. Making this an issue about gender hurts everyone. When you hold the group responsible for the actions of individuals in that group, you risk "tribal" war.

Ask the guy to please make some space for you, and move on with your life.

I have a thinkpad I rigged with slackware and a custom WM and whatnot, custom browser, etc. exclusively in dark colors with brighter text. But instead of white I opt for a lighter grey. If I need context highlighting I use variations of red, orange, and blue. It's the perfect setting for me since I also had that "retina burn" effect from white-on-black. On my windows machines I use a redshift app called Flux. Not great for watching videos since the colors are off, but for general browsing and working it's the only setting I can stand with light backgrounds.

Yep. I wrote in a comment above that the bible evolves over time, depending on interpretation and context. That would seem necessary to me for teachings that are intended to survive into humanity's future.

Symbols reveal what is hidden to those in the know.

The bible is full of symbolism, real events in context, doctrine, wisdom, etc. It's not a matter of one language vs another, it's a matter of universal symbolism that can be applied to any age. The monkey as trickster, the poison as subversion. It is incredibly difficult to communicate complex thoughts in plain language, and even then it is liable to a misunderstanding. The bible is not without its misunderstandings, but the point of it is that it's made to be universal in a way that complex meaning is communicated to every age. Every age has its interpretation, and every age is structured by how it puts that interpretation into action.

It evolves with time.

I also make attempts to discourage people from sitting next to me. This behavior cannot be policed. If you want to sit next to a guy spreading his legs, simply ask him to move over. It's courteous not to attempt to discourage people from using public transit as intended, but it's not a gendered issue that needs widespread media attention chastising males.

I have the same outlook. There are bad points in every generation, but groups of people don't get arbitrarily worse because they were born together at a certain point in time. Every generation faces a new challenge, and every generation attempts to overcome it, usually with unique results. Previous generations have no concept of the challenges their kids and grandkids face.

I'm a millenial, and my partner's parents, stereotypically, are always going off about how lazy, whiny, and unmotivated my generation is. From where I stand it's the complete opposite. I could explain why but, at the risk of starting a debate about millenials, I'll just say that my generation has been working on solutions to problems our parents either didn't have to deal with, or weren't aware of. And that's just the way "generations" work.

I don't think that's a good, general comparison. Depends on what you're doing online.

I spend my time online reading about my interests or talking to other people. In the outside world, the conversations I have are short and often unfulfilling. People are more open online and I really value that kind of open introspection with others. It's difficult to find information about my interests outside of the Internet as well, unless I go to the library which, for me, is at least an hour commute.

Lots of people are learning how to use the Internet productively because as we migrate our time from physical reality to virtual reality, we crave more corresponding meaning.

The real world sucks for me sometimes (y'know, apart from nature walks and the like) because it's not the apple it's the candy. It feels fake, empty, and lifeless.

I also grew up during the transition. We didn't have Internet in the house until I was 14, and even then my computer time was limited. My story is similar to yours. I had a few neighborhood friendships that only worked out because I was able to tell them what I wanted them to do. Otherwise, interactions with my own age group were never 2-way: if they didn't want to do what I wanted to do the way that I wanted to do it, I just went off on my own and was perfectly content.

In my teen years I spent most of my time writing, reading, or walking wherever. Again, I had a few friends, but I was picky and apart from that didn't care to "maintain" the friendships. When I started using the Internet more frequently, I found more passive friendships online that came and went and this was a much better solution for me. It meant I could connect when I wanted to, and instantly end the connection when I wanted to be alone, without much risk.

I probably sound a little more pathological than you, but my point is that some people just are a certain way. Apart from that there are external reasons why kids prefer the Internet to in-person interaction. The Internet as a solution came about for a reason. The world is so populated now that when one walks down the street, your neighbors are unkind or elusive because people cannot keep up with so many relationships at once. Trains are packed, everyone's chattering, everyone's rushing, there are people everywhere but no one is communicating-- there's no time or energy to connect with people. Some guy on the train is crying, but no one is going to comfort him because everyone has so much shit going on. The Internet, in one sense, is a way to reconnect with one's neighbors intimately while keeping a sane distance. If a guy on reddit is telling me he's crying, I instantly attempt to comfort him.

It's a weird thing, for sure. But, personally, I don't see an easy way around it in the short-term.

I'm not a man, but mentioned in another comment that manspreading is more about comfort due to having testicles and I can sympathize with that. If the dude is significantly impairing my ability to sit straight on the seat, I will usually spread my legs a little wider to force him to move a little, but if not-- if he's just taking a bit of room-- it doesn't matter so much.

I don't think it's a problem that needs to be solved. Imagine if your discomfort was visual: you're walking on crutches or you have a cast. People would naturally give you more room because they don't want to cause you any pain. Men are not about to say, "excuse me, ma'am, my balls are sweaty and it's not appropriate to adjust them to a certain degree in public, and besides that I don't want to crush them between my legs, so if you don't mind, please forgive me if I take up a bit of room on the seat."

I don't really know what it's like to have testicles, but I imagine it's more comfortable to keep one's legs apart than not, so it's not a problem for me unless his knees are digging into my thighs or he is blocking an empty seat. Usually this isn't the case-- I've noticed men scoot forward a little on the seat with their legs spread so that it isn't an issue.

I think that was a direct verbal quote. Elon is kind of an awkward guy with public speaking, but he's honest (from what I can tell of his body language and etc.). Saying "kind of high-quality mobile homes" is probably just a vague summation of what he wants for housing. He may have not totally figured it out yet, or he may have been trying to lessen the impact of the "mobile homes" part, or most likely both.

My dad isn't in my life except for one meeting each at the ages of 9 and 16, but it is surprising how similar we are. He's almost pathologically obsessed with aliens (as am I) and he has a passionate HAM radio hobby. HAM radio is something I've always been interested in, but I'm young and in a math degree and I haven't had time to explore that too much, but before math I was considering electrical engineering. His smile is the same as mine. I look exactly like his sister. For a while I thought maybe my mom had stolen me from the hospital and we were unrelated, because I am 100% my father's child. He also has autism, which he apparently passed on to me.

I've been thinking of going to church lately.

I wouldn't call myself a believer necessarily, but I do believe in such things as many people now have dismissed due to utter faith in science. So, I'm not "Christian", but I think the bible is an important book and contains wisdom. If you haven't read Ecclesiastes, I suggest you do. It was written by some old, powerful man (no one really knows who), basically reflecting on his life and imparting wisdom. It's the kind of old testament book that has inspired great leaders for centuries.

Anyways, the idea of a church community really comforts me. I would be open with my own beliefs, and the reason why I'm attending church, and hope to build long-term relationships with those people. I also want to do some good outside of my academic work. When or if I have children, I would want them to attend church with me, with the understanding that they don't have to believe in God in order to gain something very valuable. I want them to grow up in a tangible, physical community of people who have their best interests in mind. Now that "inclusive" churches are more popular, I think I am going to find one.

>I recently read a book in which the author, describing rural life in the early 19th century, casually mentioned clothing as being ‘all made in the home’. I laughed. Anyone who has ever tried to sew anything (let alone make an entire family’s wardrobe by hand) would not be so cavalier about the amount of labour involved.

Hmmm, true. Thinking about it, I now realize that whenever I have thought about time-frames pre-industrial revolution, I always just assumed clothing was quick to make.

I have an aunt who knits. My mother, who also knits, regards her sister as the best knitter she knows. I've seen her pieces and, while they are something I could never make, they don't have the "flawless" quality of sweaters and such you can buy at the store, and they take sometimes months for her to finish (depending on what else she's doing in her free time). I've therefore always assumed my aunt was kind of medium-tier at knitting. Kind of a silly thing to contemplate. But anyways, I never thought that it was a very long process, or should be, and that the results of hand-knitting should mimic exactly the factory-quality you see at the store.

I always just thought women who knit in the "old times" could churn out a sweater or a pair of socks in a couple days, kind of along the same lines as the thought that "everything was better back then". Similarly, when I tried to knit a scarf for my mom for Christmas one year, I gave myself a month (figuring I could work on it for an hour now and then) and I nearly did not make the deadline AND the scarf was uneven AND it wasn't long enough.

I used to mix dandelion shoots in with my green smoothie in the morning, when they were available. It gave the smoothie kind of a creamy effect, with a microfoam on top. It was delicious.

It's many things at once. For some people, it's just an aesthetic. It's the whole "hacker, rebel, techy, lone-wolf" aesthetic.

It's also a genre of science fiction. It basically combines futuristic tech with dystopian/utopian elements, and grimy, old-world stuff. For example, a cyberpunk setting may have godlike AI, but everyone lives in the ghetto. Usually there are rogue actors that try to disrupt or exploit the technology system in place-- the "hackers". These actors are all about reclaiming old tech, building gadgets, and often cyborg-like body mods.

Cyberpunk is a sort of philosophy as well, along the same lines. This is where the subculture aspect comes in. Ever heard of steampunk? Steampunk in a fictional setting is where all technology is mostly mechanical, usually drawing on Victorian elements as well, and sometimes magic or supernatural stuff is included. Steampunk can be boiled down to an initiative to create stable, reliable, mechanically sound systems, usually put to interesting/novel use.

Cyberpunk as a subculture is similar. It's all about making tech work for you, pushing it to its limits, experimenting and exploiting within the given system. It's a rebellious attitude and a response to corporate and government tech control. It incorporates a fashion element like all good subcultures, likes to resurrect old tech (like nixie tubes), and often incorporates body modification (like NFC chips under the skin). People like to repair their own technology, modify their own technology, and collect obscure technologies. Many are also hackers, or want to be.

The only reason apple got rid of the headphone jack was so they could sell you the adapters for $30+. I want a headphone jack, AND I want bluetooth capability. I'll buy your wireless headphones if I want to use wireless, otherwise I'll buy your wired headphones, but I'm not paying $30+ for the dongle. Instead, I'm gonna buy a samsung.

It baffles me that people are arguing about the merits of bluetooth and the ease of wireless when, in reality, it was a profit move!

They consent on the astral plane!

What a terrible story, though I'm surprised they ordered more than one test for the bacterial infection.

I had a kidney infection last year around this time. I caught it early, as I had been through it before and had once left it so late that I developed sepsis (infection of the blood).

I went to the ER and told them I had a kidney infection. The intake nurse was very kind and asked me relevant questions. She seemed to be inclined to confirm my self-diagnosis: "yeah, it sounds like a kidney infection."

They got me to a bed and ordered a urine test. The urine test came back an hour later, "100% clean, perfect urine". The doctor poked at my back for a bit and assured me my ailment was mechanical! I assured her it was not mechanical. "Well, your urine test is perfect, so I don't know what to tell you. If you're still experiencing symptoms in the next couple days, just come in, but for now try to rest and not put too much strain on your back :) "

So I went home. In the next two days I developed a fever of 102 and was in excruciating pain, both in my head and my general abdominal area. I couldn't walk, I couldn't even think. My family forced me to go to the ER because I was incapable of making the decision. I genuinely thought I would die-- I thought I had already developed sepsis and would suffer brain damage and I would die. We went to the ER and they did another urine test. lol SURPRISE, I had a kidney infection! They gave me the tiniest, littlest dose of morphine that almost did nothing to help the pain, and gave me a prescription for antibiotic pills. I insisted they send me to an outpatient facility for IV treatment. "That's a great idea!" They said. Jesus.

Anyways, kidney infection was cured, but MY GOD, I would think the first thing they would do is order another urine test! Apparently the tech failed the first time and sampled it too late, which is why my urine was "pristine" (their words). No one's urine is fucking pristine!

This is obviously going to be an unpopular sentiment, but I am somewhat excited to observe the results, and I'm glad this is happening during my time on Earth.

Yes, it is a horrible thought, but in many ways inevitable: if the tech exists, it will be used for both good and evil. Better that other societies can see the outcome sooner rather than later.

I don't. This person is a journalist. If you want to stop a journalist from writing a story, you kill them or you intimidate them.

China's already under intense public scrutiny. Killing a journalist, especially one who has already published the story in question, would be incredibly unwise!

One could rough her up but in most of these encounters she was in public. Many times they tried to get her alone. But she refused and had already published the story when they entered her hotel room. A beating would have been equally as unwise as killing her. Anything more intimidating than barging into her hotel room would have been a huge disaster for the Chinese government.

Going to the gym is daunting for a person with social anxiety and/or autism.

It's often loud, crowded, and besides that it's filled with complicated machines you have to learn about before using.

When I walk into a gym my brainstem screams: "fucking RUN".

Pushing yourself to exercise in front of people who seem more powerful and more confident than you is a good way to gtfo of your comfort zone-- and it's a low-risk way to do so. Because while it seems like a big deal to potentially make a fool out of yourself at the gym, it's not and nobody actually cares about the skinny guy in the corner fumbling around with the leg press, and most of those people you will never see again. The people you do see again have an essential but implicit bond to you: you're all trying to improve your physicality. Everyone there was once a beginner. Zero risk.

You can translate any confidence gained at the gym to the workplace. It shows up in the way you walk and the way you carry yourself in general, and you become less fearful of situations that look, at first, to be very high risk.

I have your exact problem. I've been diagnosed as autism type I as well (equivalent to asperger's).

There are lots of good tips here, and often people suggest reading books and whatnot. Personally, it looks a bit overwhelming. I'll give you my advice just to add to the torrent, and hopefully you'll read it. I hope it's a bit gentler.

I'm not currently employed (still in university) and so this little problem of mine has not affected me as much as it may have affected you, but I recognize it will likely become a problem in the future, so I've been taking steps to remedy the thing.

1) The first thing I did this semester was start a conversation with the guy sitting next to me in class. He asked that I save his seat. When he came back, I asked what program he was in and etc. and got his Facebook contact info. Now, I've gone to great lengths to avoid him outside of class, but we talk in the ten minutes before the lecture starts, and I have found it's a good balance of pain vs gain. Take home: 5-10 min of meaningless conversation is better than nothing.

2) Someone else came up to me this semester in another class, asking about the homework. In time, I found that sitting next to him and chatting idly was actually relaxing. He is the kind of guy we all need in our life-- he simply doesn't have judgments to doll out to you, and will happily converse about whatever comes up, and happily sit silent if there's nothing to talk about. I make sure to ask how he is on occasion if I don't see him around. Take home: When you find someone that doesn't make you want to jump out of your skin, attempt to maintain your relationship.

3) Maintaining relationships: If you don't like social obligations but still want to maintain relationships to the degree that you're not treated as a robot in the office, the best thing to do is ask questions of the other person, the answers to which, of course, you are personally and genuinely interested in. I ask people about their day to start, and then I ask questions about their future: what do they want and why. This helps me understand their motivations and puts me at ease because the knowledge allows me to predict their behavior more accurately. Another thing is to just ask about people's days whenever you see them. When people give you a genuine response to the question, then you know you're on their good side. You can get on their good side by acting interested in them and asking about their day!

4) Don't push yourself to take on too many relationships or to get close to a lot of people. Keep it as simple as possible. Maintain as much distance as you want while at the same time edging slowly out of your comfort zone. Say hi or smile at people you pass in the office. If someone comes to your desk to give you a task, ask them how their day is going, SMILE. It's these little tiny actions that accumulate in the other person's mind to form a picture of you. You don't need to do anything huge.