it's satire.You add one script tag and if you're in the EU it traps you in cookie banners you can't get out of.The reject button moves when you try to click it. the legitimate interest toggles turn themselves back on. the privacy policy is 47 pages. at the end you have to prove you're not american by clicking 27 buttons, one per country, in the local language.GET /v1/europeans returns a real...
I kept seeing the same pattern:
Smart people sending dozens of applications. No replies. Not because they’re unqualified — but because inboxes are saturated.
It made me think: employment works because it creates structure.
Clear role. Clear term. Clear deliverables. Clear consequences.
Entrepreneurs and builders rarely give themselves that structure.
So I built hired.wtf.
Instead of applying to companies, you send your CV to yourself. The app interviews you and generates a fixed-term employment contract between “Employer You” and “Employee You.”
It includes: • Role title • Term (30/60/90 days) • Deliverables & KPIs • Performance review schedule • Termination clause
The idea is simple: Turn vague goals into binding commitments.
It’s not a productivity tracker. It’s a psychological contract engine.
I’m curious: • Does formal structure actually change behavior? • Would you use something like this? • What would make it genuinely useful vs gimmicky?
Would love your feedback.
— Thomas
The goal was to answer a simple question:
If those investments were still held today, what would they be worth based on the latest reported valuations?
A few notes:
• All figures are sourced and linked • Each estimate has a confidence label • Assumptions are documented in the methodology section • If anything looks incorrect, I would genuinely appreciate corrections
This is an independent reconstruction using public information, not speculation.